Thoughts on a Monday Evening
Jan. 18th, 2016 07:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spryngHaven't done one of these in a while. Here we go!
- I've been doing that thing where I avoid LJ because I haven't updated, but then I get behind on the posts so I keep avoiding because it gives me anxiety. So here I am. Giving myself permission to be behind but still read a few and see how ya'll are. <3
- I have also not been posting because then I would have to confront all the things I am doing a very good job of not thinking about. That is my current coping mechanism with all things TTC and it is working surprisingly well.
I just spent two weeks in limbo waiting to see if we could even try this cycle (see: timing issues), which basically amounted to waiting to wait. Thank the gods that the stars aligned and the universe was kind and we can. We're on round two of our three IUIs and now I get to wait another two weeks. So early February I'll know whether or not we get to play the waiting game again and try one last time.
The two week wait is the absolute worst and it doesn't get better with practice. I'm going to try and cope by not staring at the finish line (so. far!) but focusing instead on each day. Tonight I will write and read. Tomorrow I will lift and do Crossfit. These things are enough.
- Fucking vitamin D man. Why didn't I take it before? Well, I did, but I didn't take massive quantities. Apparently the massive quantities make a huge difference to my mood. I haven't felt this stable in, well, over a year. It's nice and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm not going to lose the next six months of my life to depression.
- My wife and I had our 10 year Dateversary on Sunday. I can't believe we've been together that long. It kind of blows my mind. I wouldn't have wanted to spent it with anyone else and I'm really happy we still function well together. I still stop and acknowledge my luck in running into such a wonderful dragon every day.
- I have become re-obsessed with lifting. My squat is (finally) back up to a reasonable number and my deadlift is inching along. I don't have much control over a lot of things in life right now, so I might as well get as strong as possible, right?
- I've been doing that thing where I avoid LJ because I haven't updated, but then I get behind on the posts so I keep avoiding because it gives me anxiety. So here I am. Giving myself permission to be behind but still read a few and see how ya'll are. <3
- I have also not been posting because then I would have to confront all the things I am doing a very good job of not thinking about. That is my current coping mechanism with all things TTC and it is working surprisingly well.
I just spent two weeks in limbo waiting to see if we could even try this cycle (see: timing issues), which basically amounted to waiting to wait. Thank the gods that the stars aligned and the universe was kind and we can. We're on round two of our three IUIs and now I get to wait another two weeks. So early February I'll know whether or not we get to play the waiting game again and try one last time.
The two week wait is the absolute worst and it doesn't get better with practice. I'm going to try and cope by not staring at the finish line (so. far!) but focusing instead on each day. Tonight I will write and read. Tomorrow I will lift and do Crossfit. These things are enough.
- Fucking vitamin D man. Why didn't I take it before? Well, I did, but I didn't take massive quantities. Apparently the massive quantities make a huge difference to my mood. I haven't felt this stable in, well, over a year. It's nice and I'm finally starting to feel like I'm not going to lose the next six months of my life to depression.
- My wife and I had our 10 year Dateversary on Sunday. I can't believe we've been together that long. It kind of blows my mind. I wouldn't have wanted to spent it with anyone else and I'm really happy we still function well together. I still stop and acknowledge my luck in running into such a wonderful dragon every day.
- I have become re-obsessed with lifting. My squat is (finally) back up to a reasonable number and my deadlift is inching along. I don't have much control over a lot of things in life right now, so I might as well get as strong as possible, right?
