Flamethrowers and Umbrellas

I have actually read enough this month that I can make a legit post about it. Some of that was due to travel in the early part of August -- the kids are old enough that I can actually read on the plane again -- but I've since tried to keep up a daily habit of reading, as well as bringing my eReader to piano and taekwondo classes.

It's been... nice. I no longer see a list of books and just have a sad sigh, because I know I'm 5 years behind in my TBR and will never catch up. I'm still never going to catch up, but I have a much greater chance of getting to read a book and -- gasp -- dare I say, even read ARCs again?? That is the dream, isn't it, to get caught up enough (not that there's ever any true catching up) that I can read ARCs and give blurbs again.

Anyway, so first I read Language of Liars SL Huang on the plane back from Wyoming. This was a good one to read all at once; I'd actually started it a few months ago (thank you Marissa for very explicitly saying "this is for the linguistics" lol) and the first bit wasn't super engaging so I found it hard to come back to. But then I committed on the plane and damn. I saw what was coming way before our naive protagonist, to the point where I started to wonder how he could be so naive, but well. Young and impressionable and still full of respect for his elders, I guess. Just because you want to shake 'em doesn't make it less realistic.

But I absolutely loved the way linguistics/language is so important to the plot, and how he figured it all out. And the ending is satisfying if -- still -- a bit naive. This book (novella, really) has a slow but inevitable momentum and is best read all at once. I'm glad I didn't try to read it over many many weeks.

The Dragon Has Some Complaints by John Wiswell was next up, and a recent release. I've always enjoyed John's dark whimsy, and I'll always be glad to read more of it. Thankfully, this was more of it. He's a writer I can trust to be inclusive, and not only that seems to be doing that Golden Age SFF thing of writing towards the future/society he wants to see. So while there are Evil People and Evil Societies, the one we spend our time in is full of kindness, care, compassion, and people coming together. Sometimes it's a little heavy-handed, but again: you know he's writing towards an ideal.

Also Garrodigh is hilarious, and there were several bits I was in tears about, and several times I had to share a line with my wife, because it's just exactly my kind of humor. It's a fast, fun, book, and doesn't shy away from horrible things, but Everything's Gonna be Okay. Which, you know, you can't always trust a book to deliver you safely to an end, and I appreciate I can trust John to do that.

Mercy Makers by Tessa Gratton is one of those books I'd been hearing about for a while, with, apparently, good reason. I struggled to really sum this one up after I finished it (staying up too late, natch), because it's many things. It's layered and tangled worldbuilding, it's a flawed MC who thinks they're Hot Stuff, it's really good and delicious prose, it's clever characterization, it's pain and joy and not quite fun, not really, more angry and insistent. But what it really is, is indulgent.

Indulgent in its prose, indulgent in its characters, indulgent in its worldbuilding, indulgent in its plot -- to the point where I almost put it down, truthfully, because it felt like it was going nowhere and our MC was just going to spin in tighter and tighter self-destructive circles until at the end of an exceptionally indulgent chapter, everything changed.

The characters were likewise indulgent, with their whims, their wishes, their ambitions (or lack thereof), and most especially with their sex. Lots of that in this book, and I love the way Tessa wove (see what I did there) even the sex scenes into the magic and worldbuilding.

This is also another entry into the subgenre I've called Moon Wrong (yes, NK Jemisin is in there) and I'm keen on reading the next book in the series (trilogy?) just released this summer because a) are we fixing Moon Wrong? and b) where the fuck do you go from that ending?

Thrall by Rebecca Mahoney came to me from creating the queer books list: lesbian vampires in the mountains of Tennessee? I don't need to know anymore, sign me up. Except it's not quite lesbian vampires, as our MC remains a pre-vampire thrall for the majority of the plot. That said, her love interest is still a muscular gal on the archery team with impeccable aim and their arc is delightful.

I picked this book up on Saturday, meant to finish reading another book first, but decided to just skim the first chapter on Monday night.. and finished it yesterday. This is both a great vampire book and somehow so much more. As I said over on Bluesky, it's vampires on a secluded college campus, yes. It's lesbians, yes yes. It's fighting for a life when you've so long been denied one, been in service to others, yes. And it's the careless cruelty of chance.

It's also vampires with teeth while also somehow still being fun and sexy; vampires that are still terrifying and old soul vampires who are Just Fucking Tired. I loved the questions about who you are when life changes, and if you can still be the same person and if that even matters -- if you still deserve to live and love and thrive.

IDK man, this one just hit all of my itchy spots and I want everything Rebecca's written now. Thankfully, she's got another book in the works that sounds just as excellent... but not out until 2028. T_T

That's it for fiction, but I also listened to The AI Con by Emily Bender which is one of those Reaffirming Things I Already Knew while also Teaching Me New Infuriating Shit kind of books. It might have kicked off my current WIP, and now I'm also listening to More Everything Forever by Adam Becker, another takedown of the current AI hypetrain.

I... might... finish reading another book before August ends, but we'll see. I've got a pretty busy weekend ahead. :)

Oh it was so good, y'all.

I worried beforehand, as I always do. Weather dot Gov said it'd be smokey, and also a little chilly, and also that there were riptides the day before. The surf was supposed to be rough (but good for surfing). The water was cold. I was still so worn down on Tuesday. Was it really worth driving all that way?

But we did and yes, it was worth it. Reminder for next year's Kai: 71F water and 75F day is perfect. And while yes, we drove through a lot of smoke (Florida and the entire SE is currently on fire), and there was even smoke in the Publix parking lot just a stone's throw from the beach, the beach itself was fine. I was right that the constant breeze off the water would keep it clear.

It was a hazy day, though. Thin clouds so the sun was never in full force which, again, perfect. I don't particularly care for those scorching hot beach days, where the only respite is the water and your skin is cooked within minutes. We put on sunscreen just once and were there 3 hours; my face feels a little warm this morning, but no visible sun burns.

CG came with us; I offered her the choice Tuesday night and the girl had to actually think about it. Us was me and my MIL -- she leaves next week so I wanted to take the chance to go to the beach while she was still here.

CG and I attacked the waves. I was extra careful at first, what with the red flag warning and all the rip tide warnings, so we didn't go out further than she could stand. It was high tide, so that left us a lot of space to swim and play. She's gotten so good about going with the waves. She'd get hit and go under and then pop up a few seconds later laughing.

Unfortunately she lost her goggles toward the end. She was absolutely distraught. I tried to find them, but, well. She ended up calming down by drawing in the sand with MIL, which brought out the delightful proclamation: "playing in the sand is fun!"

I got a last swim by myself; swam hard out into the deeper parts then just let the waves crash over me. I could've stayed for another hour, but I'd promised CG ice cream on the way home and we had a 5yo to pick up.

i swear, the ocean healed me. I'd been so so tired that morning and still congested, but by the time we left I was... fine? I should've been exhausted because I'd been straight up swimming in chilly water for almost 3 hours, but no. The older I get, the more I've realized that I need to be in the water more: pools, lakes, rivers, oceans, whatever I can get. I'm glad CG is old enough to go with me; I'm hoping 5yo will at least learn to swim this summer (well, without floaties). Because I can't wait to take both of them.

What a busy weekend, and we're not even done.

Saturday I made pink pancakes for the kiddos, then took CG and 5yo to piano lessons. Afterwards, we hit up the library for an hour, since Dr Lady had a 3 hour taekwondo event. I found a few more kids' cook books and am going to try again to get CG involved in the weekly cooking. I swear at this point I'm beating a dead horse, but hey, maybe the horse will suddenly start kicking. I feel like if I can just find the right thing, she'll get interested. She likes making eggs, after all.

After we got home from the library, they helped me clean out the garage. Once Dr Lady came home, I let everyone vege for a few hours, because that evening we were going to pick up some Indian food and go watch the bats. Half of that turned out all right--surprisingly the food pick up. We had a 30min wait for our food, so the kids sprinted back and forth outside, and then I corralled them in the back of the car where they happily worked through 5yo's activity book. He's gotten really into those find-the-object activities, as well as simple mazes, so Dr Lady got him a whole stack of those kinds of books for his birthday.

The food took longer than I'd budgeted for, timewise, so by the time we got to bats, the nearby parking was full up and people were everywhere. We had to walk a ways and then we were on the wrong side of the road to really watch, but it was getting too dark and there were too many cars to cross the road safely. We got to see somebats come out of the bat houses, but not the endless stream I was hoping for.

And then it was very dark and 5yo was tired and wild and running all over the place--near the gator-infested lake and then near the car-infested road. Not great! Then he just laughed at us when we told him to stop and come back, so I had to take away his stuffie for the evening. It was a struggle with him the rest of the night, but at least Sunday we were fine again.

Both kids were up when it was time to go get groceries, so I put 5yo on my bike and CG biked on her own. She's doing such a good job with biking further and further and learning how to share the road with cars. She had no problem at all biking all the way to the grocery store and back again.

We only had a little time at home after, because the university put on a little science fair at Depot Park that only ran for a few hours. So we hustled over there and the kids got to touch a whale's baleen, learn about frog calls, and pet caterpillars. It was fun, if a bit windy, because the cold front was coming in. We closed out the fair and then played on the playground for a bit and I reminisced on how we used to come to this park every weekend. The friends we'd meet up with there have all unfortunately moved on or ghosted us, but I really want to go there more often again. It's such a nice park with a big playground and lots of safe space for the kids to run around in.

We were all exhausted by the time we got home, so we let the kids vege again.

And today, as soon as these kiddos wake up, we're going to see manatees. :)

4yo is going to become 5yo this week, so yesterday we had his birthday party. February is peak strawberry season here, so when he was 2yo we celebrated by inviting friends/family to come strawberry picking with us. A lark became tradition, and now 4yo started asking about strawberry picking for his birthday back in October.

It helps that the farm we pick at is both just up the road and has a play area for the kids. For a fraction of what it would cost at any other play place, we can have them and their friends play all afternoon in the sand and sun. I hope he continues wanting to pick strawberries for his birthday because this is a way better tradition than going to a loud, overwhelming jump place.

I had to admit, what with all the cold and hard freezes, I wasn't even sure the strawberry place would be open. But their plants were healthy, even if some of the berries were clearly frost-bitten, and while the pickings were slimmer than usual for this time of year, there were still pickings. I think we got two pounds?

It was also just a perfectly nice day, one of those Florida winter days that almost make up for our summers. We haven't had a lot of those this winter, what with either the bitterly cold days or the cloudy ones, so it was nice to be out and be grateful.

The cold has really been a lot. I know the rest of the country is being hit hard, too, so I haven't been complaining, but (lol) I have had to de-ice the chicken water way more times than any other winter we've been here and most of our frost-sensitive plants are dead. Pour one out for our poor elephant ears. I'm waiting to see if the lemon tree pulls through, but it's not looking good. :/

Today we continue the birthday shenanigans with a dinosaur show. I'm not entirely sure what we're walking into, but it's put on by the university's Performing Arts and it looks like realistic dinosaur animatronics? IDK, but I'm 100% sure 4yo will enjoy it. I'm also reminded that I need to check out their showings more regularly, because I missed a lot of cool stuff last year.

And then later this week he'll be 5 and somehow we'll be half a decade into having two kids and living in this house in Florida and he'll start Kindergarten in the fall. We're finally transitioning out of the baby era, which lasted seemingly forever. A lot of the things he was struggling with earlier this year he's pretty much got the hang of now -- emotional regulation, for one; bedtime, for another. Even food, he's starting to open back up on. Is toddlerhood over?

I, for one, am just grateful to have two kids who sleep in past 5am, and no more middle of the night wake-ups. Solid sleep schedules are really the pinnacle of parenthood, and I know my mental health has been a lot more stable for it.

Here's to another five years and really getting to know who this little guy is. <3

So far this year I have:
- gone on a chilly, 28F New Year's run
- borrowed a friend's carpet cleaner and thoroughly cleaned 4/6 carpets/rugs; begone cat puke and old food stains!
- played Fur Elise and realized it's actually a really easy song
- played Auld Lang Syne almost flawlessly
- re-arranged 4yo's bedroom, to his delight
- attempted hamburger buns; they were edible, but much room for improvement
- fully switched to my new Linux laptop (goodbye Windows!)
- read the last few Animorphs books (only 25 years late, it's fine) and had to process the emotional fallout
- finally caught up on emails
- made travel arrangements for Sirens Conference in March
- started sorting through accumulated files/papers/documents
- finished putting together the miniature coffee shop my wife got me for Christmas

Not too bad. I'm particularly proud of the carpet cleaning, lol. Not that our carpets were never cleaned, but there's only so much scrubbing the various cat puke sites and stains will take. Our friend loaned us a carpet cleaner that has a steam setting that lifted all that shit (pun intended) right out. I went from thinking "wow, we should probably replace the carpet soon" to "oh wait I guess they just needed to be cleaned."

On the one hand, I like how much easier it is to keep the faux hardwood floors clean in the rest of the house, but on the other, it's hard to imagine anything but carpet in a bedroom. Someday maybe when the kids are grown we'll rip it all out, but for now I should probably, uh, deep clean more often.

I'm also pretty happy with my new laptop and switching to Linux. I'd been meaning to for a few years now but didn't want to spend a day (or more) installing a new OS. Since I needed a new laptop anyway (the screen was flickering/dying on the old one and I managed to narrow down the diagnosis to a hardware problem), I researched ones that came with Linux-preinstalled. I just really wanted to be able to keep working on my WIP out of the box.

There's a little bit of a learning curve -- I can't seem to get Dropbox to work, for example -- but the absence of bloatware and efficiency of the OS is so noticeable, it's like I'd been wearing a forty-pound weight vest for so long and finally got to slip out of it. Like, I knew Windows had gotten real bad in the last few years, but wow.

Also: good riddance OneDrive. Fucking hate how Microsoft wants to do away with native drives and force all your stuff to the cloud. And an added bonus, I don't have to worry about Copilot creeping into more and more of my programs.

Only downside is that now when I use my work computer, it feels even slower. Welp.

And last, after the series ended 25 years ago, I finally read the last few books in the Animorphs series. I don't remember exactly why I stopped reading them, although re-reading some of the latter books was a chore: that 3/4 mark was really rough, with cliched plots and clunky writing and some really head-scratching characterization.

But the last four books are a ride and a half and oof the feels with that ending. I wish I could've been reading it in real time with the fandom community back when it still existed. I'm glad ebooks exist now and I could finally finish reading it; KA Applegate certainly pulled no punches when it came to child warriors, huh. To think that series started as middle grade.

Today is the last day of the kids' winter break; they go back to school/childcare tomorrow. I have two more days off, having shifted my PTO to account for the fact that I, uh, didn't actually take time off over Christmas. Now that I've (somewhat) recovered from that hectic two three four weeks, I really want to pore myself into finishing the edits on this WIP. Having kids home has made it hard to really sink in and focus, so hopefully a quiet house will help.

And then Wednesday I travel to Michigan for dayjob. Phew.

But first, today: a friend's wedding.

It's the last day of 2025. I can see the orange edge of sunrise through the pines out my window.

I've covered dayjob, I've covered writing, but what about the other stuff? This year I set daily nibbles of reading, piano, and writing. I... mostly succeeded in those three areas.

I can now successfully play Fur Elise, Greensleeves, and other two-handed pieces where there's not a lot of fancy stuff. I can sightread again and I'm working on remembering all the different keys. While I didn't practice every day, I practiced when I could and I found myself playing at the end of many days just to unwind and relax. Playing piano is very soothing; it's both a skill to better and an artistic outlet, but it lights up different parts of my brain than reading and writing.

Bread was the other big task I set myself this year, and I think after successfully baking several sourdough loaves, sourdough bagels, and a cinnamon roll focaccia for Christmas, I can confidently declare that a success. I have a happy sourdough starter I can take out of the fridge when needed and I've learned enough bread skills that I can tackle most bread. Insta-yeast breads still elude me, but that's fine, really. I'm happy with sourdough... and focaccia, lol.

...actually, maybe I'll make some focaccia today...

Reading I touched on in a previous post, but suffice it to say reading a few pages every day came and went. I think that's fine, honestly. Some days I don't have the attention/spoons, some days I do, and as long as in general I'm still reading, I'm not going to sweat it.

Everything, really, seems to come in waves. Trying to do something every day works only so long before the universe breaks through a wall like the coolaid man. I think that's a key thing I've learned this year: that it's okay not to do something every day. Life and sicknesses and dayjob and, yes, obsessions get in the way. And that's fine. As long as I come back to it, we're good.

Oh yeah, I also surpassed my 20-year-old self when it comes to strength. I blew through all of my old PRs - bench, deadlift, squat, clean, you name it - and set new ones. I may be slower than I was, but I'm definitely stronger and I'm happy with that. I also avoided injuring myself or burning out and listened to my body when it told me I needed a day off. I love my 5am crew and knowing they'll miss me definitely helps get me out the door some mornings. But knowing that no matter what the workout is, I can do it, is a big motivator too.

It's been a fun year watching the kids grow, too. I've loved watching CG blossom into a reader, who insists on bringing a book on long car rides -- and sometimes just the back of the bike. She started with comics and jumped seemingly straight into 300 page middle grade fantasy. She has to have a book in her backpack for school and she loves when they go to the library at her after school program.

I also got to see her swimming greatly improve; she can handle ocean waves just fine now.

4yo also started learning how to swim this year and, while he still needs floaties, he's a lot more confident and actually excited to go into the water. We'll likely do more swim lessons in the summer and after that, he'll probably be fine without floaties. Ah, it'll be such a relief when both kids can swim well.

4yo likewise blossomed, starting pre-k in the fall and now proudly reciting his ABCs and counting up to 100. He can recognize most letters and a few words and loves when his sister reads to him. He's likewise graduated from listening to us read him picture books to chapter books (with pictures, though), and we're steadily working our way through CG's stash of age-appropriate books.

In fact, one of the drives this week to 2 Papas' was almost entirely silent as they were both absorbed in their books. Is this the future??

They fight, of course, and 4yo likes to antagonize CG--but does not like when she retaliates, natch--but over all they seem to be getting along really well. Yesterday I took them both to the grocery store with me and I glanced back to make sure they hadn't strayed too far and they were holding hands. T_T

Travel went much better with them this year and overall they both seem much more capable of handling long drives, long days, and lots of walking. Which is great, because I really want to travel more in the coming years. A friend recently mentioned that when she met us, we used to travel all the time, and now we hardly do and... well. Yeah. Some of that is Lady's compromised immune system, some of it is traveling is just hard with little kids, and some of it was money. But this coming year we are going to the Grand Tetons and we will do another beach trip (or two) and hopefully some other stuff between.

Anyway, all in all... this year felt like laying the foundations for more fun/adventure in the future. Being able to bake if needed, play music, bang out a book, read for fun or research, lift heavy... yeah. I don't know what I'm going to build yet, but I'm going to build something.

I made it through. All the planning, present buying, wrapping, cooking, preparation, etc came to fruition at 7am Christmas morning when four excited kids opened their stockings and then a few hours later tore through their presents.

We adults had decided not to get each other anything, although my SIL still snuck some small things into stockings and I still got my brother a "What the Fuck" fidget toy. Still, the absence of presents for us was not noticeable, or if it was at all, it was the relief. Watching and enjoying the kids opening their presents was the real joy, if I'm allowed to be that cliche. I sat next to 4yo and helped him unwrap his and pointed out who had given him what so he could shout his thanks.

And the moments when you saw the real delight -- ugh, love it, gonna miss it when they're older. I was listening to a You're Wrong About podcast episode about the history of Christmas, and how yes, it's been thoroughly commercialized, but first it was turned from a wild party holiday to a children-oriented one and wow, yeah. I've really come to see that since having kids.

Also can I just say I love this age? We had a 3yo, 4yo, and two 9yos and they all played together so well. Sometimes the 3yo would make toddler decisions (mine!) but 4yo handled it (or came and got us) and there were many times I looked around and realized they were off playing somewhere (outside, the attic) and I didn't have to worry. It was great. I got to talk to adults and make my contributions to the meal in (relative) peace.

The only bad part of the whole day was the fact that I had barely gotten 4 hours of intermittent sleep on the floor of the living room, because 4yo was up late with a cough and then once he settled, CG came out claiming she couldn't sleep. Then I had to be up again at 5am to make breakfast (that cinnamon roll focaccia recipe that went around r/breadit earlier this year) and let's just say the rest of the day I was trying to enjoy while in an exhausted fog.

It was, overall, a day to realize how lucky I am that my parents have this house where they can host Christmas (we... could in theory, but some family members have bad cat allergies, so), that my brother and his family are willing to come out here, that all our kids are close in age and get along, that we get along, and we can make this happen. My parents are getting older, and boy could I tell this year, and I don't know how many Christmases they've got left in them, especially the hosting kind, but at least we had this one. <3

Dayjob has been nonstop and will likely remain so right up until Christmas break. I am all day every day performing data processing that you'd think would be perfect for AI, but apparently breaks its little brain. So I get to do the brain-numbing dull stuff while genAI gets to write books / create art and my boss keeps asking me why I can't just apply AI harder and that about sums up everything that makes me ragey re the current AI debate.

It's dull, tedious stuff, but I'm trying to keep it from infiltrating the rest of my life. I borrowed my mother's guitar around Thanksgiving, got it restringed (it'd been sitting in a closet for 5+ years), and have been learning the absolute basics in my downtime. Aside from ukulele, I've never played a stringed instrument before... honestly, aside from piano, I've never really been an instrument player in general. Choir was my thing, so I feel like I'm "learning" to read and play music all over again.

Also wow, they weren't kidding when they said your fingers would hurt learning guitar. I definitely got close to blisters forming one day, ouch.

A few years ago I decided to learn French because the language had always eluded me and now I can read most French and am starting to pick it up spoken. Last year I decided to master bread baking because that, too, had been something I always failed at before; now I can retrieve the starter from the fridge and have fresh-baked bread the next day that even the kids prefer to store-bought. Now I'm picking up guitar after long ago accepting I'd never understand it... but I'm starting to.

I should probably just make a list of all the things I thought I'd never be able to do and cross them off one by one. Some of them are more impossible than others (cartwheels, at this age and size?), but others are absolutely possible (pull ups, car maintenance). I love being almost 40 and not only still learning new skills, but disproving old assumptions about myself. I wish I had more time to tackle it all, but I'll have to just do one thing at a time for now.

Maybe I can work on getting the skill to a level like the sourdough starter -- something I can pull out when I need it, or just when I want it. Piano is almost there; I've certainly just plunked down and played a piece to chill several times this week. It's also nice to have things I can do, but I'm not necessarily good at, so I'll never have the urge to try to monetize it. I just want to be that family member who can pull out an instrument and play a song, you know?

That's a good goal.

And who knows, maybe I'll actually understand music theory eventually, too. Another seemingly impossible thing.

Fine, I guess taking a break works. I've written 10k on a stupid little WIP since Sunday after purposefully not writing for several weeks.

I'd been reading and lifting and going for walks and noodling on the piano and -- yes -- also wailing and gnashing my teeth that I was never going to write again. I had a really rough weekend the week before, only to realize midway through that maaaaybe this was depression/anxiety and not actually the universe telling me to quit.

I took an emergency claritin (anti-histamines help calm anxiety symptoms), told myself not to leave every writing/online group I was part of, and reassessed my inputs -- that is to say, food/sleep/internet. All of it was off, so I took a deep breath and reset. My brain calmed down over the following week (although I went a little too hard on the food part; you need to eat more, girl) and I allowed myself a steady morning rhythm of lifting and reading.

Then, Sunday morning, something in the book I was reading made my brain go click. Instead of ignoring the feeling, I put the book down and started writing, thinking I'd just play with the idea until it lost its shine. Except then I kept writing. And now I've hit 10k and my hindbrain is chewing on something book-shaped and I don't know where I'm going with this, but so far it's fun, and that's really all that matters. I feel a little less broken, a little more excited, and who knows -- maybe I'll do something with this.

Or just hide it with the rest of my WIPs.


Meanwhile, the kitten seems to be settling in nicely. We had a few hissing spates between the older cats, but she's been venturing out further and further. At least one of the other cats seems to fully accept her and the other one is starting to... grudgingly.

The funny part has been that kitten does, well, kitten things. Like chewing on things she shouldn't etc. CG was surprised by this and I had to explain to her that right now, kitten is basically a toddler. She has no impulse control and everything she sees is "mine!!" So CG has banned kitten from her room, at least unsupervised.

The kitten has had a good influence on our older cats, though. Maurice has been running around and playing way more than she used to and even Trixie has gotten less skittish. I think standing up to the kitten is focusing Trixie's anxiety, lol.

It's just interesting to watch and so much easier knowing what to expect from a kitten/cats. When we first got Kona and Darj, they were about this age and I'd never had a cat before. I was surprised by how rambunctious and destructive they were. Now I'm like "eh, could be worse." I love her kitten energy... for now.

I had a good birthday.

I'm really glad I last-minute booked this stay on the beach. While we didn't get the balcony I thought I'd booked, the rest of the resort is pretty good. The room itself isn't bad; it's sectioned into two rooms, with the beds in one and a living space in the other. The living space has two huge windows--neither of which face the ocean *facepalm*--but it's otherwise such a lovely space.

I'd originally thought we'd use the separate room at night for me and CG to read while 4yo fell asleep, but while he insisted Lady read him book after book until we came in, he conked out pretty hard both nights. An absolute relief after the last few hotel stays, where he'd spend an hour chattering and trying to get out of bed until I lost my mind and took him for a walk outside.

We got here midafternoon Saturday and had enough time for me and CG and 4yo to check out the beach, even play a little in the waves, then check out the splashpad, then check out the pool, while Lady rested. I was surprised at how ready 4yo was to walk into the water, then later straight up jump into the pool. I warned him, "you don't have floaties, you don't know how to swim" but he turned that back with "you taught me how to swim *leap!*" Thankfully I caught him every time.

We had dinner beside the pool and it wasn't *terribly* expensive, and then remembered the resort does s'mores in the evening and made it over just as they were setting up. Lady joined us, which was good timing because two kids around fire really requires two adults. And apparently neither child had ever actually roasted marshmallows for s'mores before. We'd done them in the microwave at home, but the real deal was new to them. CG was skeptical at first, not believing me that she needed to catch it on fire, but once she tasted one, she was hooked. She's mentioned it a few times since, so I think we're going to need to convince 2 Papas to have a few bonfires this winter.

Rain rolled in on Sunday, alas. I managed to write a little and then get to the beach for a sunrise jog, only to slice my foot open on a shell halfway. Oops. My fault; I kept glancing over at the sunrise. Thankfully it was a small cut, and I was able to hobble back. By the time I returned, everyone was up. I'd found a neat little place outside of the touristy area for breakfast that turned out to be really good, but slow. The kids managed to not lose their shit, though, which again: surprising and commendable. Are we almost ready to go back out into public?? We've avoided restaurants for so long because it's just exhausting playing the "when are you going to lose your shit" game.

Thankfully, one of the reasons I'd picked this place was because it was across the street from a playground and tiny beach, so as soon as both kids were done eating, I took them to play and get their wiggles out. Lady had to wait another 20min just for the check (slooooow), so phew.

Rain had been threatening the entire time and I was finally able to drag the kids away from the playground when it started thundering. We made it to the car just as it started to pour. It continued to pour for the next few hours, so we holed up in the hotel room and the kids got to watch live TV (that doesn't pause! or go back! the horror!) while Lady and I took turns napping. Which turned out to be good strategy, because once the rain let up, we were out.

Well, CG and I were out. We played at the beach for almost a solid two hours, jumping waves, then me teaching CG how to swim beneath waves, and then Lady and 4yo joined us for another hour in the pool. It was glorious and everyone had so much fun and we were all so tuckered out by the time we returned to the room. Ate the shit out of some pizza, had some cake, got ready for bed--

--and then CG asked to walk on the beach while the sun set and how could I say no? When did my child come to appreciate sunsets? I don't know, but she kept remarking on how beautiful it was, and then she said she wanted to come with me at sunrise when I went down to the beach. T_T

I definitely got everything I wanted out of this trip: quality time with the kids, lots of beach, lots of just being outside and enjoying the weather, tasty food. I almost wish we'd stayed another day, but probably better to leave while we don't want to, hah.

If 39 is getting to stay active and have this kind of fun with both kids, I'll take it.