spryng | Fuuuuuuck

I was low-carbing for the last two weeks in order to try and wrestle PCOS back into submission, but apparently I triggered my anxiety instead and had a full-on attack earlier this week. :( I tried to push through it, but it didn't start getting better until I dropped the diet like a hot rock.

I'm so frustrated. PCOS supposedly does better on low carb, but if I restrict my diet too much, I panic-spiral. PCOS fucks up fertility, but so do panic attacks and depression. I don't know what to do. Which is worse? Is it possible to low-carb without triggering?

At this point, I just feel like I'm screwed. I should throw in the towel, I *want* to throw in the towel and be done, but I'm also curious about whether or not a medicated cycle would do anything. I want to be able to say I tried everything, to prove that I am irrevocably broken.

On the other side of my frustration lies my writing. I have stuck to my goal of writing every day, but it's in dribs and drabs. 100 words here. 50 there. I don't know how to push through and just get it done. Part of that is the new job sucking all of my energy, part of that is the aforementioned emotional fun!times. Part of it is a sinking sensation every time I check my professional!email and don't see anything new.

I wish I didn't need constant validation.

tl;dr: fuck PCOS, fuck diets, fuck writing