Anxiety Dreams
Dec. 30th, 2023 08:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spryngYou know when you've had a dream so wild, you need to write it down to excise it from your brain and/or remind yourself it wasn't real? I swear I woke up twice from this same dream: my wife and extended family finding and contracting to buy a massive house on a lake. Only it was really two houses, and it came with a family of servants who had cared for the houses for hundreds of years. Each house had its own inside pool and massive exhibit space and were crowded with people and it was just awful.
But what was interesting were the details that were slowly revealed. That it was way out of town, yet somehow Cabin Girl would be able to attend her old school. That it was off a narrow, winding road, yet as I stood outside discussing the place with my sister-in-law (why was she there, and why was she on team Giant House?), a neighbor passed biking a bakfiet / bucket bike and I grilled her about the bikability of the road. That it was, in fact, in the foothills right outside Tucson, and the view was spectacular. That my wife was really Done at her job here and wanted to try over at UofAZ.
By the end of the dream I was almost sold on the idea of dropping everything and moving to AZ and this weird-ass, too-big house on a lake. ^^() But then I woke up and was so glad it was a dream. I do not want to move, and certainly not to a ginormous house out on the edge of everything. It really drove home (hah) all the things I love about where we are now -- walking/biking distance from groceries, library, CG's school, the daycare, our friends, plus living in a place with lovely neighbors, with a reasonably sized house (even if trying to imagine teens living here breaks my brain a little), and minimal upkeep.
Our neighbor, though, is looking to move (which likely inspired some of this dream) because things just keep getting more and more expensive. Property taxes are ratcheting up (thanks, DeSantis [no, really, he took over our electric utility and it's a whole thing]) and home insurance is also rising (again: thanks, DeSantis) and then there's inflation in general... yet of course, income itself isn't going up at all. :/ A lot of folks I know are being squeezed and I don't know when things are going to give. Clearly, some can't take it any longer, and I know it won't just be our neighbor forced to move.
So yeah, that dream was such a potent little outgrowth of anxiety, huh. Rare that I can point to all the aspects of a dream and where that fear/worry/weirdness came from.
But what was interesting were the details that were slowly revealed. That it was way out of town, yet somehow Cabin Girl would be able to attend her old school. That it was off a narrow, winding road, yet as I stood outside discussing the place with my sister-in-law (why was she there, and why was she on team Giant House?), a neighbor passed biking a bakfiet / bucket bike and I grilled her about the bikability of the road. That it was, in fact, in the foothills right outside Tucson, and the view was spectacular. That my wife was really Done at her job here and wanted to try over at UofAZ.
By the end of the dream I was almost sold on the idea of dropping everything and moving to AZ and this weird-ass, too-big house on a lake. ^^() But then I woke up and was so glad it was a dream. I do not want to move, and certainly not to a ginormous house out on the edge of everything. It really drove home (hah) all the things I love about where we are now -- walking/biking distance from groceries, library, CG's school, the daycare, our friends, plus living in a place with lovely neighbors, with a reasonably sized house (even if trying to imagine teens living here breaks my brain a little), and minimal upkeep.
Our neighbor, though, is looking to move (which likely inspired some of this dream) because things just keep getting more and more expensive. Property taxes are ratcheting up (thanks, DeSantis [no, really, he took over our electric utility and it's a whole thing]) and home insurance is also rising (again: thanks, DeSantis) and then there's inflation in general... yet of course, income itself isn't going up at all. :/ A lot of folks I know are being squeezed and I don't know when things are going to give. Clearly, some can't take it any longer, and I know it won't just be our neighbor forced to move.
So yeah, that dream was such a potent little outgrowth of anxiety, huh. Rare that I can point to all the aspects of a dream and where that fear/worry/weirdness came from.
