Day 6: The Barbell
Feb. 24th, 2018 05:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spryngOne of the hard(er) things about having a baby has been finding the time to exercise. Time was, I'd do Crossfit 3+ days a week and go for runs and also go for long hikes on the weekend.
But a baby changes all that. First sleep deprivation and then the simple difficulty of figuring out what to Do with Baby when you do have the time. The Crossfit boxes nearby don't exactly have daycare, and *someone* has to keep an eye on the baby even when she's asleep. And she sleeps 14+ hours a day.
I can do more on workdays, but I'm still limited - I am supposed to be working after all. I returned to running first, because running has become a pretty integral part of my writing process. Also, I have other motivation: the Zombies, Run! app. Honest to god, that app is the sole reason I decided to get a smart phone.
My runs got longer. I challenged myself to a 5k. Did it. My runs got faster. And longer again. Now I regularly run 3+ miles like it's nothing.
But lifting? That's been harder. I got into Crossfit with my wife and part of the reason I made those 5.30am classes back in Arizona was because we were both going every morning. We motivated each other to go.
But now, one of us has to stay home with the baby.
I started going to an MMA class 3x a week back in August, and that has been remarkably hard to stick with. For one, I go alone. For another, it's in the evening. All I want to do in the evening is curl up on the couch and/or sleep. But I decided on a whim to learn how to punch Nazis properly and have been keeping with it, if sporadically, ever since. My wife enjoys having a quiet evening to herself and I enjoy dropping men twice my weight.
We've only been able to have that arrangement since the baby has become 100% predictable with going to bed (*praises the baby gods*). Also since, you know, sleep.
I still felt like I was missing something. The calluses on my palms are almost completely faded. I couldn't call myself a weightlifter anymore. I kept trying to start and failing.
But the weather warmed up a bit last week and I realized it was warm enough to lift without losing any skin to the frozen metal. So I did. And then I did again. And something feels as if it changed, as if I might be able to keep up with this. Lifting was my constant throughout pregnancy. The barbell never changes; it's always the same weight, the same metal, the same force.
So, I'm hopeful. Reclaiming my body post pregnancy has been a much slower process than I ever expected, but I'm almost there. I've had to learn to love & accept the way it's changed, but I also need to take care of it. Returning to the barbell & weightlifting feels like finally reaching the end of that path.
Let's see if I can stick with it.
But a baby changes all that. First sleep deprivation and then the simple difficulty of figuring out what to Do with Baby when you do have the time. The Crossfit boxes nearby don't exactly have daycare, and *someone* has to keep an eye on the baby even when she's asleep. And she sleeps 14+ hours a day.
I can do more on workdays, but I'm still limited - I am supposed to be working after all. I returned to running first, because running has become a pretty integral part of my writing process. Also, I have other motivation: the Zombies, Run! app. Honest to god, that app is the sole reason I decided to get a smart phone.
My runs got longer. I challenged myself to a 5k. Did it. My runs got faster. And longer again. Now I regularly run 3+ miles like it's nothing.
But lifting? That's been harder. I got into Crossfit with my wife and part of the reason I made those 5.30am classes back in Arizona was because we were both going every morning. We motivated each other to go.
But now, one of us has to stay home with the baby.
I started going to an MMA class 3x a week back in August, and that has been remarkably hard to stick with. For one, I go alone. For another, it's in the evening. All I want to do in the evening is curl up on the couch and/or sleep. But I decided on a whim to learn how to punch Nazis properly and have been keeping with it, if sporadically, ever since. My wife enjoys having a quiet evening to herself and I enjoy dropping men twice my weight.
We've only been able to have that arrangement since the baby has become 100% predictable with going to bed (*praises the baby gods*). Also since, you know, sleep.
I still felt like I was missing something. The calluses on my palms are almost completely faded. I couldn't call myself a weightlifter anymore. I kept trying to start and failing.
But the weather warmed up a bit last week and I realized it was warm enough to lift without losing any skin to the frozen metal. So I did. And then I did again. And something feels as if it changed, as if I might be able to keep up with this. Lifting was my constant throughout pregnancy. The barbell never changes; it's always the same weight, the same metal, the same force.
So, I'm hopeful. Reclaiming my body post pregnancy has been a much slower process than I ever expected, but I'm almost there. I've had to learn to love & accept the way it's changed, but I also need to take care of it. Returning to the barbell & weightlifting feels like finally reaching the end of that path.
Let's see if I can stick with it.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-28 11:08 am (UTC)Also, the fact that we had just moved them across the country may have complicated things.
Mostly, they started fighting and Darjeeling started licking obsessively. The baby's crying was what was setting them off, and the baby cried a *lot*. We ended up giving Darj' anti-anxiety medication for a while and also bought these really expensive automatic cat feeders so they would stop yowling at 2, 3, 4, 5am.
Both of those worked really well, as well as being able to play with the cats when we could. We did briefly consider finding a new home for Darjeeling, because she's just so neurotic, but I'm glad we didn't because that would've broken my heart.
I found I got annoyed with the cats a lot more after baby, mostly because they were interfering with the few hours of sleep I could get. I feel like I tolerate them more often than enjoy them these days, which makes me sad, but it has been getting better steadily, and I appreciate having them when I'm home alone for most of the day.
tl;dr - sleep dep compounds the suck factor of everything, including every little thing your cats do now to annoy you. But sleep dep passes and you find a new normal and Hazel fucking LOVES the kitties. "Kitty" was her first word.