Soon I will be 30

[spryng]

I turn 30 on Wednesday. It will be the first time I've worked on my birthday, which I'm a little bummed about but I can't really get around. There are a ton of meetings and I don't have any vacation/sick time left and I work at home anyway, so -

For the past five years, I've tried to make August into a small festival just for me. By making a cake each week or having special dinners or just making time for the things that make me happy. But this August has flown by without any of that, too chaotic from the move and visits and my own exhaustion.

In a way, it's fitting. I'll be hitting 30 having just bought a house, a car, and with a Lady Jr on the way. I couldn't adult more than this. Funny how I never really considered those things when I thought about turning 30 before - mostly I just wanted to have a book published by now. Yet writing is the last thing I'm doing these days.

Usually I try to set goals for my birthday, like birthday resolutions in lieu of New Year's. But this year I recognize that I have no idea what's coming. So I'm just going to go with the flow until I'm deposited on a shore somewhere and can start gathering my wits and planning again.

There is one thing I want to focus on for 30 and onwards, though, and I've already started working towards, and that's becoming strong. When I think of myself as a mom and as a Real (TM) Adult, the version I like best is the one who can lift anything and do anything and has the endurance and strength for both.

I'm not sure how to tackle this mentally, but physically - well, as an early birthday present, I filled out my bumper plate set. I can now deadlift up to 235# in the garage gym, even though right now I can barely do 160#. I want to stay strong for labor and beyond and now I have 100% no excuses. My goal until then is to visit the garage every day, even if I don't do heavy lifting.

And then after baby and recovery, I want to work on getting back to my old PR's - and surpassing them. Maybe even compete, but we'll see when I get there. I've seen and met so many badass 30 and 40-year old ladies who can deadlift 300# that I know it's 100% possible - and I want to be one of those badass ladies. I want to be that role model for Lady Jr and every other girl out there. That's where I see myself in my 30's.

As for writing... I can only trust that will come back to me. In dribs and drabbles my imagination has begun turning back on again, but I'm afraid to force it. And it sucks because I have a story that is perfect to tell right now - about the after effects of global warming, about strength and resilience, about diseases spread by mosquitoes, about phage therapy - but I can't see it.

I don't know how to get that back except to be patient and to make room for it. So that's my other goal. A little bit of room each day just for writing. I can do that.

See you soon on the other side.

Comments

[lantairvlea.livejournal.com]

Did your doctor give you any weight restrictions? For both boys mine said don't lift anything more than 20-25lbs. Of course the day before she first told me that I had moved several 100 pound bales of hay the day before ... woops? I also decided that all of my saddles weighed less than 20lbs for sure (haha).

Good for you, I think those two things sound very reasonable considering what is ahead.

[spryng.livejournal.com]

My OB didn't (she encourages doing whatever you were doing before you got pregnant, but at a slower pace), but my fertility doc told me to stop lifting entirely. I might have... completely ignored him. :) I did a lot of research on my own and came to the conclusion that as long as I wasn't trying to PR and listened to my body, it was safe to keep lifting. So far, it's been fine. I've gradually lowered my weights and upped my reps since 1st trimester and now I rarely lift more than 50% of my max.
From what I can tell, the 20-25# limit is leftover from a time when women were actively discouraged from strength training (70's, 80's). As long as you lift with good form and have the body awareness not to do anything stupid, it seems fine. I'm not a doc, but I'm sure those saddles weight less than 20# ;)
The only research I've found showing a negative impact from exercise is re: athletes sticking with their regular training. Really intense movement, i.e. high heart rate, for a long time can deprive the fetus of oxygen. That's where the recommendation to stay under 140bpm for heartrate or use the talking test (i.e. can you hold a conversation while exercising?) comes from, both of which are still pretty conservative. I *do* stick to that.

Sorry, that was probably more than you ever wanted to know but I spent a whole month figuring out what the current research was because I wasn't about to let anyone tell me not to lift. :)

[lantairvlea.livejournal.com]

I had the suspicion that it was a leftover from when women were not expected to be doing much of anything physically. But I believe my OB started in the late 70's or early 80s and my MIL who was in the medical field and about the same age (Infectious Disease nurse) reinforced the thought. My mother was also super cautious so I was getting it on all sides. As mentioned I decided all my saddles are "around" 20 lbs (even the draft saddle and hey, the harnesses too!) and figured if I can lift something with one arm there's no way I'm taxing myself excessively, right?

No problem! I enjoy the extra education! A little part of me wishes I had pushed back a little harder on that, but I also kept riding until 7/8 months and was harnessing and driving until two weeks or a month before delivery as well as teaching until the day of. So it's give and take and what you can live with vs. not. As you said it boils down to listening to your body.

[koyaaniisqatsi.livejournal.com]

... the version I like best is the one who can lift anything and do anything and has the endurance and strength for both.

I really love this. <3 I would also like to be lifting before, during, and after pregnancy one day.

[spryng.livejournal.com]

The important part is before! As long as you know the movements and how your body responds, everything I've read encourages ladies to keep on keeping on. Your body changes drastically throughout pregnancy though, which is why it's so vital to know what feels safe and normal, so you can adjust accordingly.

[spreadsothin.livejournal.com]

I am not strong in this pregnancy as I would like and it is hard to lift my 40# daughter.
Last time I carried her to the car with a scraped knee, I lay on the couch with Braxton Hicks all evening.
I'm 22 weeks and need to be cautious and I haaaaaaaaaate it.