spryng | It's aliiiiiiiiive

Warning: More pregnancy stuff.

We had our last appointment with the infertility doctor on Thursday and got to take a look at Lady Jr. It was a bizarre experience. I've seen my interior quite a few times now due to needing to check eggs and see how my PCOS is doing, but usually it's hard to make out anything at all. The doctor would point to something and say "that's your lining!" and I'd just have to smile and nod and hope he wasn't crazy.

I kinda expected the same thing this time. That he'd point and say "that's your baby!" and I'd just have to believe him. But nope. I knew exactly what that weird smudge was before he confirmed it. Then I noticed that there was something flickering inside of it and I realized, it has a heartbeat.

I can't even begin to describe how much of a relief that was. After getting so used to things going wrong these past few years, it's hard to let go of that mindset. But I know the miscarriage chances by heart, and there is a really big drop when you can visibly see the heartbeat.

I admit, I teared up a little. So did Lady Sr. This is so weird and bizarre and crazy and yet we wanted this. Seeing the little nubbin made it that much more real.

Also getting stabbed in the stomach by round ligament pains, but that's less cheery. :)

In case your'e curious what a 7-week-old smudge looks like, there's a picture under the cut.