(no subject)

[spryng]

Tomorrow is the demo lesson and it's all I can think about and I shouldn't be as terrified as I am, but I am, and I've been intermittently nauseous all week, especially most of yesterday, and I just need to calm down and stop catastrophizing everything but it's really hard because what if I freeze up or say something stupid or can't remember something or run out of time or have too much time or they plant a problem student or all of my expectations/assumptions are wrong or I vomit in the middle of class or something stupidly small happens and I freak out or somebody throws a chair at me or no one can read my handwriting or I make a colossal mistake without even realizing it or or or there's something else I don't plan for and it happens and derails me and I can't get the students to take me seriously and all of these things are on a reel looping through my head, awake and asleep, but soon it will be over, so soon, but not soon enough - and then I can be a normal person again.

Comments

[kerrickadrian.livejournal.com]

You will be totally fine. Once you're up there, it will just flow. If something happens that you don't expect—and it will—you'll know in the moment exactly how to respond.

Now spend fifteen minutes before you go to sleep envisioning yourself giving the demo lesson of your dreams, with perfect students and perfect poise.