(no subject)

[spryng]

Omg, why do I keep having dreams about Schatz? I don't think about him or that class at all, yet in the past month I've remembered at least three dreams in which he made me feel sorely incompetent. The one before this I was struggling to speak Russian and he was getting horribly angry. And this one we were writing his evaluations and he wouldn't leave the room, just sat there, reading a newspaper, sometimes coming by to chat. So I couldn't write what I wanted to about him - which makes for a very funny dream, since it was partially true. o.o()

I wonder if the incompetency I'm experiencing in my dreams is tied to how I feel about getting into grab school. I've been worrying about it a lot lately, and it doesn't help that Shaw emailed me back today, three weeks after asking if I still wanted him to write a recommendation for me and I saying, yes, of course, to let me know that he had this nagging suspicion that he was supposed to be writing one for me. x.x I love you Shaw, but wtf? I really should just email the other two and verify that they wrote them and sent them in. I haven't heard from either since mid-December. But then part of me is like, what's the point? I'm not going to get in anyway. Yargghafble. Probably doesn't help that I don't know when they'll be getting back to me.

Comments

[ministerofgrace.livejournal.com]

Poke them with sticks! I'll attack Shaw at our meeting tomorrow.

[innocentwater.livejournal.com]

I kinda get the feeling that most NCF professors, while they're nice while you're there, expect you to just kinda go away in general once you've graduated. Maybe that's it.

Also, I had nightmares about David for months. Nothing lately, but I still cringe just thinking about him and my thesis.

Hope your recs and grad stuff all work out for you. You're a talented person and a hard worker-- if you want to get into and get through grad school, you will. Sometimes getting in takes time, but you'll be able to.