Stormy Days

Slightly less sick. Actually, a bit less sick. Just my head is all full of cotton, but Lady's got the worst of it now.

I've been filled with the sudden and inexplicable need (again) to pin down my life and where I want to go with it. I suppose it's the knowledge that I will likely be without a job again in ten months. But then again, it could just be that I know I don't want to be stuck doing this. Perhaps it was another of mom's off comments about my brief stint at Target, as if that were the lowest of the low. So even the infinitesimal chance that I may be forced back into retail and a minimum wage job at the end of this is somewhat unsettling, even moreso than having to potentially go on unemployment.

I'm tired of not having a plan, but when I sit down to make one, I can't. I end up with empty hands and a wish that I could write, even as I sit here with an empty page. A wish that I had more business savvy, so I could spruce up my photo business and get it rolling again. There was that oh-so-brief moment back in October when it was moving, and now it's sickly and covered in dust. I start things and I don't finish them, and I hate that about me.

Anyway, to help myself out of this hole, I've been brainstorming and listing possibilities for post-this job. I even went and trolled craigslist, just for ideas. But I found an internship, unpaid, at a literary agency. And I let myself get much, much too excited.

So I shot off an email. Why the hell not? They're looking for a student or someone with a degree that would be applicable, and I'm neither, but omg agency. I didn't expect anything back, after all those months on craigslist with nary a peep. But I got one, and they want to meet. Eek! I know it doesn't mean anything, aside from a lack of interest from any other internship seekers, but this could pan into something awesome. If nothing else, the very least I could get out of it is knowledge on how agencies work.

Sooo... yeah. We'll see.