spryng | Running, redux

2 weeks out from the 10k and already I'm second-guessing myself. A month ago, it seemed so... well, not exactly doable, but a problem for future me. And now I'm almost future me and I can't stop thinking of all the ways I'm going to eat it. Probably doesn't help that the 8k I ran last week was absolutely brutal.

I suspect it was not eating well the night before and then that dry-mouth feeling I start getting around 6-7k. At least I can do something about both of those. I found a hand-held water bottle at REI yesterday that I'm going to try out on my run this weekend. It doesn't hold much, but it should be enough to stave off those panicky "I'm dehydrated!! I'm dying!!" signals my body is sending me. Winter is over, anyway, so it's only gonna get warmer and I'll need something like this if I keep running.

Anxiety and nerves aside, both my 5k and 3k runs have been improving weekly. I've hit paces I haven't hit since around the time Baby Doore was born -- or probably before. It's nice to see improvements and also kinda amusing that actually running more helps. I'd gotten it into my head that to improve, I just needed to run my 5ks faster or do intervals or splits or any number of anything except actually running more. Then I listened to a handful of audiobooks about running and all of them hammered home the need for more mileage, not more speed.

And lo: it works.

I also went back to Crossfit this week. Took it super easy on Monday to feel things out and then dove headfirst back in on Wednesday. Everything feels fine and it's lovely to have those random sore muscles again. Plus I missed that group -- they're a fun lot and my buddy who has been pushing me actually noticed I was gone. :)

All this running has meant my writing has been shoved into the corner, where it's been forced to think about what it's done. It hasn't come to any mind-opening realizations yet, but I have had a small one: not writing makes running boring and therefore harder. I pick the songs I do so I can visualize parts of the story I'm working on and figure out the plot. If I'm really into it, I can practically slip out of my body while I run and not feel any of the discomfort. The kilometers fly by. But without a story that I'm working on, the songs are just... songs. I feel every step.

After this 10k, I was already planning on finding a balance between running time and writing time. I'm not sure how, but it's clear they feed off each other. When I couldn't run, I felt my writing become more difficult. And now that I can't write, the running is harder. There has to be a balance. Which feels somewhat impossible when I have only the same sliver of time for both. :/