spryng | Thoughts on a Lunch Break, XVII

- This is my last day to be 26, but I've been feeling like I'm 28 for so long that it's hard to mourn 26's passing. I'm not sure if this is just because I work with a bunch of ladies in their 40s or if after 25 I might as well be 30, but I don't really feel that old. 30's a little closer, that's all, and that's cool. I rather think I'll be my most fetching when I'm in my 40s, so. :P

- Funnily enough, the need for money to start our farm in our anticipated two-year timeframe has kicked me back into querying MA. The worst part isn't the querying - the worst part is receiving a response. Because inevitably the response is a rejection, but some of them have sounded as if they were not merely form rejections, which means (obviously) that I was this close and some horrible flaw in my writing pushed them away, not (more plausibly) that they were intrigued but just not intrigued enough.

- Although I'm scared that MA will end up just not being commercially viable (ugh), I'm trying to just go ahead and accept it. That way I can look at this as experience in just outright querying and then not worrying about the response. But damn, it is one thing to try that intellectually, to write it down, to reframe your thoughts, but another entirely to divorce your feelings from a project.

- It helps that I'm sinking back into GW. A writer friend gave me the kick in the pants to see its fatal flaw and I've been spending my lunch hours reworking it. It feels good and I enjoy being back with those characters. I've been working on a writing calendar as well, mapping out my projected wordcounts and when I aim to be done with a certain project. It's supposed to help me juggle the various projects I want to throw myself into at any given time, but right now it's just giving me a headache.

- I've been feeling particularly comfortable in my body lately. I don't know what's changed, but I've noticed my attitude is better about how much I can run, how much I can lift, how I look, and how much I weigh. My only concern right now is the doctor's appt I have next week, because if somebody tells me I'm overweight according to my BMI, I might flip.

- Dr's appt also = apprehension. This is a new patient appt, so who know what's going to happen, but I hope the lady is nice. I've had so many terrible dr experiences in the past (including being yelled at while having a panic attack! yay!) so I'm nervous. But if I want to have a kid before I'm 30, I need to at least figure out whether or not I can.

- Chickens are plumping up nicely. Lady has had her brain replaced and filled with small, taloned dinosaurs.

- Lady also has her comp exam next week. We're both nervous. If she passes, there will be much rejoicing and then she can decide if she wants to go ahead and be done and have a MA or press on for another two years and get a PhD. If she doesn't - which, while I'm 98% sure she'll pass, there's a history of miscommunication amongst her committee members that worries me - then she has to wait 4 months to take it again. That's a long-ass time, and she's already waited a long-ass time for this first time.

- Ok, better get to writing before I run out of lunchtime. >>