spryng | (no subject)

This was a hiking-in-the-rain, banana-pancake-making, maple-syrup-drinking, tea-sipping, sleeping-in, lazy ass weekend. I spent a lot of time online reading more about sole proprietorships in AZ, tax codes, and tweaking my website layout.

This weekend's photo project was equally lazy. I've noticed that most of my photos tend to be several stops underexposed when they come off of my camera. I can attribute this in part to a fear of overexposing and having the highlight blowout meter or whatever it's called blinking angrily at me. So I underexpose instead and end up filling in shadows and upping the brightness in lightroom. Which means more tweaking and post-processing than I really want. So today I wanted to try two things: one, a retake of the over-under light I'd tried and failed several months ago on myself; and two, to try and get past my misconceptions and fears of overexposure.

I set up the coffee table with a piece of white poster board taped to it, set Lady in front of that, then set up an umbrella with a strobe over her and another strobe perched precariously on a chair off to one side. Lady held the bounce in front of her while I messed with the strobes and took photos. I think it turned out well; the photos turned out not nearly as overexposed when I took them off of Hyde than they had on the little lcd screen. I think I need to tweak the lighting a little bit more. I have my eye on some DIY ring lights, complete with aluminum foil and cardboard. Just haven't gotten around to actually making them yet.

In other other news, apparently work is really slow right now and we haven't been receiving very many new referrals due to a class-action lawsuit against one of our clients. The higher-ups knew this was coming for quite a few months - the slowdown, not necessarily the lawsuit, although the way the banks have been acting that was inevitable as well - yet only now have stopped hiring and decided to start laying people off. Granted, it's not many, and our department was assured we would be spared, but still. It's depressing and aggravating because it pretty much means no long-distance work for me. Which is both not surprising but also annoying because even though I also saw that coming a few months ago, my boss did and still continues to act like it's a possibility. I asked her point-blank if it meant when I leave that's that, and she said yes, but it's still a possibility, they still want me there, and but and but.

Can no one commit? Really? Just say yes or no and be done with it. They've been stringing me on with that vague promise since February and even now when it's blindingly obvious to both of us, she can't just out and say it. Bugs me to no end, but what do I expect from the company at this point. I've seen the way they treat their employees, over and over again. Yet I expected different; I need to stop being so self-centered. Although I recognize that it's best to not even bother with them anymore, I can't help but still be a little disappointed. And, well, terrified. This means no guaranteed income when we move. Uncertainty. Unemployment. But - self-employment? It means I have the possibility to throw myself into this business immediately and completely. A greater chance of failure - but a greater chance of success.