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I've been feeling empty the last few weeks, with occasional bouts of depression mixed in with even more occasional normalcy. I can't quite place it, although I suspect it has something to do with my chocolate experiment. I haven't touched chocolate since Monday, though, and I've noticed some of that emptiness filling up. Still, I suspect where I am and what I'm doing with my life right now isn't helping.
Basically, I feel like there has been no forward movement. I have not been learning anything or accomplishing anything or coming any closer to my goals. Part of this feeling stems from having totally blown past my May 1st deadline and then making little to no progress since then. I can't even be confident I'll be done by June. This year is already almost half over, and what do I have to show for it? Sometimes I even start thinking there's no point in even trying - I'm never going to be published. I try to remind myself that it's the most aggressive, the most obstinate, the most bull-headed who succeed in this business, but it's difficult to remember that when I'm not exactly confident about anything else in life.
I know I need to make some lists, so even when I can't think of what I can do to move forward, I can just do something off the list, but it's difficult to even get the motivation up for that.
I think I also just need a few calm, quiet weekends and evenings. The last few were chock full of family and events, which is usually fine and good, but then I use that as an excuse not to do anything. And then here we are, mid-May, with nothing to show for it.
In conclusion, IDK and I haven't been doing a good job of figuring it out.
Basically, I feel like there has been no forward movement. I have not been learning anything or accomplishing anything or coming any closer to my goals. Part of this feeling stems from having totally blown past my May 1st deadline and then making little to no progress since then. I can't even be confident I'll be done by June. This year is already almost half over, and what do I have to show for it? Sometimes I even start thinking there's no point in even trying - I'm never going to be published. I try to remind myself that it's the most aggressive, the most obstinate, the most bull-headed who succeed in this business, but it's difficult to remember that when I'm not exactly confident about anything else in life.
I know I need to make some lists, so even when I can't think of what I can do to move forward, I can just do something off the list, but it's difficult to even get the motivation up for that.
I think I also just need a few calm, quiet weekends and evenings. The last few were chock full of family and events, which is usually fine and good, but then I use that as an excuse not to do anything. And then here we are, mid-May, with nothing to show for it.
In conclusion, IDK and I haven't been doing a good job of figuring it out.
