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Slowing Down
Aug. 14th, 2012 07:17 pmFirst off, I never talk about music, but Amanda Palmer's new album (musical collection? CD?) is freaking amazing. It's not out until September, but she's been releasing individual songs piecemeal to her kickstarter supporters and then the general internet and O. M. G. If this is any indication of what musicians can do when on their own and without the support of media conglomerates, then more please, yes. Anyway. Now that my current musical obsession is out of the way.
I've been experimenting with slowing down. Going for long walks instead of runs. Taking the time to set the table instead of eating in front of the computer. Purposefully leaving large blocks of the weekend unscheduled. Even driving slower.
I feel like I let my need to do all the things control me too much in the last few years and I know for a while I was striving for the ideal of stuffing every minute full and making every second work for me. When I found myself thinking that I could schedule my day and find every lost five minutes and fill them up, I realized I should probably back off. Because for real? I was never getting close to utilizing every second of every day to its full potential, and I never would and it was stressing me out.
But it's one thing to stop doing that and another to embrace that empty time for what it is - much needed breathing space. And not to feel guilty about it. It's not wasted. What's wasted is all that time you can't remember what happened because it went by so quickly.
So this next year, my biggest resolution is to slow down. As I've mentioned, I've already started. But I really want to focus on eating slower, driving slower, socializing slower, and walking more. Because for too long I've prized my ability to eat like a freaking vacuum, shoveling entire bowls down in less than five seconds. Part of that stems from my need to keep people from seeing me eat, which is even more reason for me to cut that shit out. Food is awesome. Especially all the food we slave for hours to make each week - it deserves the time it takes to actually chew. I'm still surprised I haven't choked yet.
I also prize my crazy driving, which is ridiculous and stupid of me. I drive like a low-flying aircraft and the only thing it does is burn more gas, frustrate me when I can't make a light, and maybe get us there 20 seconds earlier. So I'm aiming to calm the fuck down in that department and keep my driving within five miles of the speed limit.
We've already been walking more - Tuesday and Thursday mornings have turned into book walks, which has been exceedingly nice and was what kickstarted this idea to spread the slowness to other parts of life.
Other things I want to do in the next year: go for an all-day hike and really sink into the surroundings; cook a three-course meal; go camping; take a handful of evenings to work on drawing; pick a random nearby city and go explore it for a day; hang the laundry outside; spend the entire day with friends; watch a meteor shower...
But more than anything, really be okay with slow progress. I'm not going to get better at anything immediately, but if I put in a little time here and a little time there, in a year, in two... I will be.
I've been experimenting with slowing down. Going for long walks instead of runs. Taking the time to set the table instead of eating in front of the computer. Purposefully leaving large blocks of the weekend unscheduled. Even driving slower.
I feel like I let my need to do all the things control me too much in the last few years and I know for a while I was striving for the ideal of stuffing every minute full and making every second work for me. When I found myself thinking that I could schedule my day and find every lost five minutes and fill them up, I realized I should probably back off. Because for real? I was never getting close to utilizing every second of every day to its full potential, and I never would and it was stressing me out.
But it's one thing to stop doing that and another to embrace that empty time for what it is - much needed breathing space. And not to feel guilty about it. It's not wasted. What's wasted is all that time you can't remember what happened because it went by so quickly.
So this next year, my biggest resolution is to slow down. As I've mentioned, I've already started. But I really want to focus on eating slower, driving slower, socializing slower, and walking more. Because for too long I've prized my ability to eat like a freaking vacuum, shoveling entire bowls down in less than five seconds. Part of that stems from my need to keep people from seeing me eat, which is even more reason for me to cut that shit out. Food is awesome. Especially all the food we slave for hours to make each week - it deserves the time it takes to actually chew. I'm still surprised I haven't choked yet.
I also prize my crazy driving, which is ridiculous and stupid of me. I drive like a low-flying aircraft and the only thing it does is burn more gas, frustrate me when I can't make a light, and maybe get us there 20 seconds earlier. So I'm aiming to calm the fuck down in that department and keep my driving within five miles of the speed limit.
We've already been walking more - Tuesday and Thursday mornings have turned into book walks, which has been exceedingly nice and was what kickstarted this idea to spread the slowness to other parts of life.
Other things I want to do in the next year: go for an all-day hike and really sink into the surroundings; cook a three-course meal; go camping; take a handful of evenings to work on drawing; pick a random nearby city and go explore it for a day; hang the laundry outside; spend the entire day with friends; watch a meteor shower...
But more than anything, really be okay with slow progress. I'm not going to get better at anything immediately, but if I put in a little time here and a little time there, in a year, in two... I will be.
