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spryngWednesday morning, I forgot to put my helmet on for the first time in 3 years of biking here. I arrived at Crossfit and made to put it down only to realize I'd never had it at all. I was completely out of it and I've been out of it ever since.
I've been unable to do much at work. I've slept more in the last few days than I have since I was last sick. I haven't really left the house. I'm depressed, yes, but also in shock. I didn't really let myself consider he could win, because I didn't want to ruminate on it. I didn't want to marinate in the dread. And now I'm shifting all my expectations and hopes for the next four years, eight, twenty, and it's bleak.
It's really fucking bleak.
We fight, of course. We were always going to fight. But now we fight to keep what little we have instead of improving anything at all. I've been looking up laws and statutes to see what will happen to us when Obergefell is overturned; best case, the Respect for Marriage Act stays in place and we don't see much change. Worst case, that act is repealed, too, and our marriage is null in Florida. I would have to adopt Toddler and draw up a ton of legal docs and in the end, we might still have to leave.
I'm trying to find the balance between Having a Plan and Catastrophizing. Last time, they didn't make it to Obergefell. It doesn't seem to be a high priority. My plans should probably revolve more around making sure both my kids have funds for school out of state, have healthcare funds, etc. My plans should include the assumption that social security isn't going to be a thing in our retirement (which, tbf, is something I'd been assuming all along).
I don't know how much more to plan for because the calling card of this dumbass is chaos. A recession, yes. A depression? Fuck. How do you prepare for that? I just gotta play it safe and hope we can roll with the punches. We've been here before and we made it through. My first priority are my kids, and then our community. Thankfully, we've got a pretty good one of those. Our county is only one of 5 remaining blue ones in Florida and the way our community overwhelmingly supported all the progressive policies and people gives me hope.
That the entire country decided to make the same mistake they made in 2016, doesn't.
But again: focus on community. Focus on what's local. That's what is going to see us through. I don't care about the Nazis in Idaho, the fascists in Texas, or the Christian extremists in Oklahoma. I care about here, about us, about my friends, my queer community. And that's how we're going to get through this.
I've been unable to do much at work. I've slept more in the last few days than I have since I was last sick. I haven't really left the house. I'm depressed, yes, but also in shock. I didn't really let myself consider he could win, because I didn't want to ruminate on it. I didn't want to marinate in the dread. And now I'm shifting all my expectations and hopes for the next four years, eight, twenty, and it's bleak.
It's really fucking bleak.
We fight, of course. We were always going to fight. But now we fight to keep what little we have instead of improving anything at all. I've been looking up laws and statutes to see what will happen to us when Obergefell is overturned; best case, the Respect for Marriage Act stays in place and we don't see much change. Worst case, that act is repealed, too, and our marriage is null in Florida. I would have to adopt Toddler and draw up a ton of legal docs and in the end, we might still have to leave.
I'm trying to find the balance between Having a Plan and Catastrophizing. Last time, they didn't make it to Obergefell. It doesn't seem to be a high priority. My plans should probably revolve more around making sure both my kids have funds for school out of state, have healthcare funds, etc. My plans should include the assumption that social security isn't going to be a thing in our retirement (which, tbf, is something I'd been assuming all along).
I don't know how much more to plan for because the calling card of this dumbass is chaos. A recession, yes. A depression? Fuck. How do you prepare for that? I just gotta play it safe and hope we can roll with the punches. We've been here before and we made it through. My first priority are my kids, and then our community. Thankfully, we've got a pretty good one of those. Our county is only one of 5 remaining blue ones in Florida and the way our community overwhelmingly supported all the progressive policies and people gives me hope.
That the entire country decided to make the same mistake they made in 2016, doesn't.
But again: focus on community. Focus on what's local. That's what is going to see us through. I don't care about the Nazis in Idaho, the fascists in Texas, or the Christian extremists in Oklahoma. I care about here, about us, about my friends, my queer community. And that's how we're going to get through this.
