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spryngIs it depression? Is it just lethargy? Caught in a landslide--
Wait, no, not going to get that one stuck in my head again.
And: I don't know. The cool thing about finally kicking my anxiety disorder to the curb is that it's also been a long time since I was Legit Depressed. I have been Sad for Reasons quite a bit, but there's a big gap between Sad Because a Thing Happened & I'm Processing It, and Generalized, Aimless Sad.
The thing is, I don't know if I'm even sad, or if I'm just exhausted. It can be hard to untangle the two when both cause you to not want to do things and be generally unable to function. And when, whatever the cause of the fatigue, I'm also unable to meet any of my obligations, let alone the things that sustain me.
I took the week off from exercise of all types, including most of my biking, to see if Just Resting (TM) would actually help the fatigue. I also did all that self-care I previously mentioned, even though it resulted in having a giant bruise from the blood draw (it's yellow today, four days later 🙃) and some panic in the MRI tube. The blood says I'm fine, the MRI says I'm fine, so why have I been exhausted since August?
"Did you actually rest?" I mean, I skipped a day or two of Crossfit. "Have you been eating lunch?" Hey now, sometimes lunch happens, sometimes it doesn't. "What about breakfast?" Yeah... okay see, that's often around lunchtime...
Fine. Fine. I'll try actually eating and actually resting, but there's something to be said for how this does feel beyond even those basic things. :/
Wait, no, not going to get that one stuck in my head again.
And: I don't know. The cool thing about finally kicking my anxiety disorder to the curb is that it's also been a long time since I was Legit Depressed. I have been Sad for Reasons quite a bit, but there's a big gap between Sad Because a Thing Happened & I'm Processing It, and Generalized, Aimless Sad.
The thing is, I don't know if I'm even sad, or if I'm just exhausted. It can be hard to untangle the two when both cause you to not want to do things and be generally unable to function. And when, whatever the cause of the fatigue, I'm also unable to meet any of my obligations, let alone the things that sustain me.
I took the week off from exercise of all types, including most of my biking, to see if Just Resting (TM) would actually help the fatigue. I also did all that self-care I previously mentioned, even though it resulted in having a giant bruise from the blood draw (it's yellow today, four days later 🙃) and some panic in the MRI tube. The blood says I'm fine, the MRI says I'm fine, so why have I been exhausted since August?
"Did you actually rest?" I mean, I skipped a day or two of Crossfit. "Have you been eating lunch?" Hey now, sometimes lunch happens, sometimes it doesn't. "What about breakfast?" Yeah... okay see, that's often around lunchtime...
Fine. Fine. I'll try actually eating and actually resting, but there's something to be said for how this does feel beyond even those basic things. :/
