Alive, Just Tired
May. 27th, 2016 08:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spryngFinally over the stomach bug. That only took forever. They are not kidding when they say it takes 2-3 times as long to recover from something when you're pregnant vs when you're not.
I had a moment this week when I realized:
a) We have exactly two months left before we throw ourselves and the cats into the car and drive 4 days across the country.
b) That equals to about 9 weekends, of which we will really only have 6 in which to Get Shit Done.
c) I am definitely pregnant.
You'd think C would be a no-brainer, but I've been very good at distancing/ignoring when it comes to actually acknowledging and accepting that yes, this is really happening and yes, there will be a lot of pain and blood and screaming come October. But this past week I officially became too big for pretty much all of my remaining clothes. Plus, Lady Jr is super active and I've felt them kick on the outside twice now.
The realization is still coming in waves, but I think I'm finally past the TTC-induced omg-anything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong. This isn't just some weird dream or hallucination. It's getting easier to use that word - "pregnant" - and outright talk about what's happening instead of edging around it with careful words, lest I provoke a jinx. Although I still hesitate to, because I know there are others out there where I was, in that painful TTC rollercoaster of hoping-but-not-getting. Also, honestly, I know a lot of people just don't care and don't want to hear about it.
Oh well. I will only ever get to do this once and talking about it helps me remember it's real and process what's happening. I get now why pregnant ladies are constantly talking about being pregnant and feeling their bellies: it's such a surreal experience and everything is changing so fast that that's the only way they can keep up and understand it. I didn't have this big bulge two weeks, a week ago. And now I can't stop touching it, because where the fuck did that come from?? My mental image of myself and my body no longer matches up with my physical reality.
tl;dr - I feel a little like a dick bringing up that I'm pregnant so often on here and in life, but it's the only way I can process it. ;.;
RE: items a & b - omg. We can do this. We can move across the country with one of us pregnant and one of us using a kneewalker and two cats. I'm just. A little overwhelmed. It's fine. o.o
I had a moment this week when I realized:
a) We have exactly two months left before we throw ourselves and the cats into the car and drive 4 days across the country.
b) That equals to about 9 weekends, of which we will really only have 6 in which to Get Shit Done.
c) I am definitely pregnant.
You'd think C would be a no-brainer, but I've been very good at distancing/ignoring when it comes to actually acknowledging and accepting that yes, this is really happening and yes, there will be a lot of pain and blood and screaming come October. But this past week I officially became too big for pretty much all of my remaining clothes. Plus, Lady Jr is super active and I've felt them kick on the outside twice now.
The realization is still coming in waves, but I think I'm finally past the TTC-induced omg-anything-that-can-go-wrong-will-go-wrong. This isn't just some weird dream or hallucination. It's getting easier to use that word - "pregnant" - and outright talk about what's happening instead of edging around it with careful words, lest I provoke a jinx. Although I still hesitate to, because I know there are others out there where I was, in that painful TTC rollercoaster of hoping-but-not-getting. Also, honestly, I know a lot of people just don't care and don't want to hear about it.
Oh well. I will only ever get to do this once and talking about it helps me remember it's real and process what's happening. I get now why pregnant ladies are constantly talking about being pregnant and feeling their bellies: it's such a surreal experience and everything is changing so fast that that's the only way they can keep up and understand it. I didn't have this big bulge two weeks, a week ago. And now I can't stop touching it, because where the fuck did that come from?? My mental image of myself and my body no longer matches up with my physical reality.
tl;dr - I feel a little like a dick bringing up that I'm pregnant so often on here and in life, but it's the only way I can process it. ;.;
RE: items a & b - omg. We can do this. We can move across the country with one of us pregnant and one of us using a kneewalker and two cats. I'm just. A little overwhelmed. It's fine. o.o
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no subject
Date: 2016-05-27 10:15 pm (UTC)Also it will help you process!
Be careful, please. We moved when I was rather pregnant with Oliver, and it took a lot for me to accept that I COULD NOT help the way I wanted to. Lifting things was out of the question at that point. I remember feeling like I was letting everyone down when I realized I could not help load the truck or unload or lift.
But the BABY and YOUR HEALTH are more important. Ask for help, don't over do it!!!!
HUGS
You are awesome!