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Jul. 25th, 2024 05:30 amThe nerve pain has largely stopped, so yay: antivirals! The only downside is they make me feel like I've taken nightquil instead for a few hours afterwards, so I have to time them right. That is: not when I first wake up, so I'm still able to get the kids ready. Unfortunately, that only leaves right before work instead, which has definitely made it difficult to make any progress.
I have a meeting with my bosstoday (now yesterday*). We are going to have a Talk. Thankfully, I've been in this role for far longer than he's been in charge and I also have the confidence that comes with Knowing My Shit. I'm honestly mostly just frustrated that less than six months ago both managers promised to avoid just these situations and yet, here we are.
On the writing front, I was deep in the doldrums last week, lost all momentum, am now almost a week behind in Camp NaNoWriMo, and ready to throw in the proverbial towel (or at least whine a lot)... and of course that means I've finally had a Big Realization about the plot and worldbuilding that might just save this whole mess. That's how it goes, huh.
That said, I probably won't finish this draft by August (which is next week aaaaaah), which Matters because I'm considering taking a proper break from writing for that month. Every August, I try to do something that I haven't had the time or guts for, that will expand my abilities or give me a chance to breath. This year, I think I'm going to *gasp* use my morning writing time to read, instead.
I'd gotten into a daily grove of reading back in... uh... January, only for that to fall to pieces after only a month or so. What with not doing the queer books list and now not even reading, I feel like I'm so out of touch with SFF. Anyway, it's something I've been needing to do but not managing in any functional way, so honestly August works perfectly for experimenting to see if morning reading does any better.
It doesn't mean I can't write, just the guaranteed quiet I have in the morning will be dedicated to books instead.
(*I didn't finish this yesterday, so update on boss meeting: I outlined exactly how they needed to get me content if they wanted a completed training in time and then emphasized that I need to be in these projects sooner; a large part of the problem with this project is the folks running it have no idea what they're doing, unfortunately, and I didn't realize that until I was knee-deep in other projects. So. No leaving me out until the last minute anymore, folks.)
Two more days until Dr Lady comes back. I swear, this has been the easiest solo-week. CG must be trying extra hard to listen and play with Toddler and I gotta find a way to let her know how much I appreciate it. She's such a sweet child and she really cares--almost too much, sometimes. I try to be clear that she can be upset, she can be frustrated, that's all okay and normal and I hope she listens.
Some of the easiness is also because I just... have a groove down. And I hate to admit it's easier when I'm not trying to navigate/negotiate with another parent, which sounds terrible, but I really am a bit of a control freak. Not knowing what's going to happen/how things are going to go stresses me out, which is why every morning not knowing if I'm going to get help is stressful and every evening, not knowing when Lady is going to come home is stressful.
That said, without another parent, I also can't do anything outside of daycare hours. I am so looking forward to joining my regular 5am crossfit class next week and going for a run early Saturday. I saw several runners on my way home from dropping the kids off yesterday and I swear I looked at them like a starving person would look at cake (or me at cake, I love cake). I yearn.
And, to be clear, I miss her. Everything might have gotten 10x harder in the last two years, but I still love my wife.
I have a meeting with my boss
On the writing front, I was deep in the doldrums last week, lost all momentum, am now almost a week behind in Camp NaNoWriMo, and ready to throw in the proverbial towel (or at least whine a lot)... and of course that means I've finally had a Big Realization about the plot and worldbuilding that might just save this whole mess. That's how it goes, huh.
That said, I probably won't finish this draft by August (which is next week aaaaaah), which Matters because I'm considering taking a proper break from writing for that month. Every August, I try to do something that I haven't had the time or guts for, that will expand my abilities or give me a chance to breath. This year, I think I'm going to *gasp* use my morning writing time to read, instead.
I'd gotten into a daily grove of reading back in... uh... January, only for that to fall to pieces after only a month or so. What with not doing the queer books list and now not even reading, I feel like I'm so out of touch with SFF. Anyway, it's something I've been needing to do but not managing in any functional way, so honestly August works perfectly for experimenting to see if morning reading does any better.
It doesn't mean I can't write, just the guaranteed quiet I have in the morning will be dedicated to books instead.
(*I didn't finish this yesterday, so update on boss meeting: I outlined exactly how they needed to get me content if they wanted a completed training in time and then emphasized that I need to be in these projects sooner; a large part of the problem with this project is the folks running it have no idea what they're doing, unfortunately, and I didn't realize that until I was knee-deep in other projects. So. No leaving me out until the last minute anymore, folks.)
Two more days until Dr Lady comes back. I swear, this has been the easiest solo-week. CG must be trying extra hard to listen and play with Toddler and I gotta find a way to let her know how much I appreciate it. She's such a sweet child and she really cares--almost too much, sometimes. I try to be clear that she can be upset, she can be frustrated, that's all okay and normal and I hope she listens.
Some of the easiness is also because I just... have a groove down. And I hate to admit it's easier when I'm not trying to navigate/negotiate with another parent, which sounds terrible, but I really am a bit of a control freak. Not knowing what's going to happen/how things are going to go stresses me out, which is why every morning not knowing if I'm going to get help is stressful and every evening, not knowing when Lady is going to come home is stressful.
That said, without another parent, I also can't do anything outside of daycare hours. I am so looking forward to joining my regular 5am crossfit class next week and going for a run early Saturday. I saw several runners on my way home from dropping the kids off yesterday and I swear I looked at them like a starving person would look at cake (or me at cake, I love cake). I yearn.
And, to be clear, I miss her. Everything might have gotten 10x harder in the last two years, but I still love my wife.
