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In a few weeks, I'm going to be turning 31. I usually start thinking about my birthday as far ahead as June, even May sometimes, and trying to mull over/consider my previous year and the year going forward. But this year I didn't even remember my birthday was approaching until late July, and then it was August, and now we're almost halfway through August.
Part of that was because my July 1 deadline was all encompassing. Part of that was the baby is also all encompassing. Between the two and trying to keep up with Twitter (because technically it's work now *wink*), I don't have much time/mental energy left over.
But I should get back into the groove of updating here. It's good to just take a moment and process things more deeply, instead of in bite-sized 140 character tweets or in DITL-esque dumps.
So 31. To consider 31, I need to look back at 30. And 30 was... 30 was taking my life as I knew it up to that point and dropping it off a cliff. 30 was change. Massive upheaval. 30 was a prayer to Kali I didn't know I was making. And the result is that I have grown more professionally and as a person than I have at any other point in my adult life.
To recap: 30 saw me pregnant and moving to a new state, an entirely new & different region of the country: Arizona to Michigan. 30 brought me a dayjob I actually enjoyed and then decided to drop a 3-book contract on my head. 30 gave me many heart-to-heart conversations with my mother and a greater understanding of her as well as our relationship. 30 also made me see parts of my childhood in an entirely new, and not altogether nice, light. 30 put an infant in my lap and took away sleep for 6+ months. 30 led to some of the darkest nights of my life. 30 has given me some of the brightest days.
30 was the fastest, scariest, most exhilarating rollercoaster. There were literally days I wondered if I would survive. There were literally days I cried tears of joy and wished would never end. There were days I had never felt luckier and days I considered divorce (not seriously - I was just in a really dark place).
30 was incredibly intense.
So if 30 was life kicking my feet out from under me, what does that make 31? I think 31 is going to be all about rebuilding. Chasing structure and stability and balance. Discovering who I am now as a mom, as an author, as a full-fledged adult. I am no longer "adulting." I am getting shit done. And hopefully taking the time to enjoy myself along the way.
To rebuild, I need to find my community again. I need friends here, even if they're not as awesome as the ones in AZ. I need to get out of the house more. Those are basically my only goals for this year: get the fuck out of the house.
To that end, I've joined a MMA class that meets 3x a week. I call it Punching 101. It's led by the whitest white dude ever and I feel a little bad giving him money, but it's also literally 2min away so I can actually make the class. Which has been a big hurdle when the baby goes to be at 7pm and most of the classes I've considered are at 7pm.
I've also been invited to a Labor Day potluck and I'm going to go to our daycare's silly end-of-summer event next week and Lady met another person at work who has a 3 month old that we're going to have "play" dates with and DAMMIT I am going to actually meet people and get out of the house!
30 was the year of burning everything down. 31 will be the year of rising from the ashes.
Part of that was because my July 1 deadline was all encompassing. Part of that was the baby is also all encompassing. Between the two and trying to keep up with Twitter (because technically it's work now *wink*), I don't have much time/mental energy left over.
But I should get back into the groove of updating here. It's good to just take a moment and process things more deeply, instead of in bite-sized 140 character tweets or in DITL-esque dumps.
So 31. To consider 31, I need to look back at 30. And 30 was... 30 was taking my life as I knew it up to that point and dropping it off a cliff. 30 was change. Massive upheaval. 30 was a prayer to Kali I didn't know I was making. And the result is that I have grown more professionally and as a person than I have at any other point in my adult life.
To recap: 30 saw me pregnant and moving to a new state, an entirely new & different region of the country: Arizona to Michigan. 30 brought me a dayjob I actually enjoyed and then decided to drop a 3-book contract on my head. 30 gave me many heart-to-heart conversations with my mother and a greater understanding of her as well as our relationship. 30 also made me see parts of my childhood in an entirely new, and not altogether nice, light. 30 put an infant in my lap and took away sleep for 6+ months. 30 led to some of the darkest nights of my life. 30 has given me some of the brightest days.
30 was the fastest, scariest, most exhilarating rollercoaster. There were literally days I wondered if I would survive. There were literally days I cried tears of joy and wished would never end. There were days I had never felt luckier and days I considered divorce (not seriously - I was just in a really dark place).
30 was incredibly intense.
So if 30 was life kicking my feet out from under me, what does that make 31? I think 31 is going to be all about rebuilding. Chasing structure and stability and balance. Discovering who I am now as a mom, as an author, as a full-fledged adult. I am no longer "adulting." I am getting shit done. And hopefully taking the time to enjoy myself along the way.
To rebuild, I need to find my community again. I need friends here, even if they're not as awesome as the ones in AZ. I need to get out of the house more. Those are basically my only goals for this year: get the fuck out of the house.
To that end, I've joined a MMA class that meets 3x a week. I call it Punching 101. It's led by the whitest white dude ever and I feel a little bad giving him money, but it's also literally 2min away so I can actually make the class. Which has been a big hurdle when the baby goes to be at 7pm and most of the classes I've considered are at 7pm.
I've also been invited to a Labor Day potluck and I'm going to go to our daycare's silly end-of-summer event next week and Lady met another person at work who has a 3 month old that we're going to have "play" dates with and DAMMIT I am going to actually meet people and get out of the house!
30 was the year of burning everything down. 31 will be the year of rising from the ashes.
