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- It hit 90 again yesterday. Beginning of March. This does not bode well.
- I've been doing research on climate change for a new book idea these past few weeks and it just makes me want to invest in air conditioning companies. Or move north - but not any of the norths where the winter storms are going to get worst. And also not the norths which are going to turn to cold, sad deserts. It also makes me angry - it's too late to do anything except damage control or adapt. And all the ideas for damage control are like slapping a bandage on a bullet wound.
- On a happier note, I have been writing again so yay. It's still hard to get my brain in the right place, but my brain has also been a heckuva lot quieter lately, so there's plenty of room for ideas to occasionally ping around. I'm also running again and going for walks and generally trying to re-cultivate the plotting mindset. It feels like starting from scratch and I keep wondering if it's worth it, but it's helping. Slowly.
- I also started ukulele lessons. My instructor said my uke was "sweet" which is code for cheap and amateur, but I don't care. I want to learn an instrument, and I have to start somewhere. Every other instrument is super expensive and therefore has a big barrier for entrance, whereas my uke I got for $20. I'm going to learn to play it properly and then I'm going to learn to sing along and then I'm going to post shitty youtube videos and make everyone suffer. Bwahaha.
- There was literally nothing to do at work last week, so I finished a book, started another, did a lot of research, went for some long walks, and harassed my coworkers. Productive? Sure.
- (Warning, pregnancy-related) My anxiety has gone from a steady 3-5 (on a scale of 10) down to a round 0. It took me a while to notice because I've been so tired, but it's so weird. I mean, nice, but weird. All of my constant worries and anxieties that have been plaguing me for the last year have melted away, even if the reasons behind them haven't, and I have thoroughly embraced whatever happens, happens.
I don't even catastrophize anymore. The biggest area where I've noticed this is that it used to be whenever Lady went out on her own, I would ask her to text me updates of where she was - not because I'm controlling, but because without updates I automatically assume she's been in a horrible car crash. And it's not just her - if I went out on my own, I would also be terrified of dying. It's not as bad as it was in Seattle, where it would seriously keep me from leaving the house, but it was still enough to notice when it disappeared.
According to the internet, this is Completely Normal, and one of those awesome perks of being pregnant. Also makes me wonder why no one has figured out what delightful hormonal concoction does this and bottled it for profit.
- Still have no idea where we're going to be living in four-five-six-seven months, and I don't care (see above). It looks like it will either be France or Michigan, and I'm cool with either at this point. France would be awesome, but holy fuck would that be a hard move and there's also the possibility that timing would be bad and I'd have to stay in the states for a few months. Michigan wouldn't be great (omg especially with that asshole of a governor), but they have a Crossfit gym and a train station and Lady is starting to like the project she would do there. I can live anywhere for 2 years and honestly, we just need to leave AZ. I love Tucson, but we've been here too long and it's time to move on.
- I've been doing research on climate change for a new book idea these past few weeks and it just makes me want to invest in air conditioning companies. Or move north - but not any of the norths where the winter storms are going to get worst. And also not the norths which are going to turn to cold, sad deserts. It also makes me angry - it's too late to do anything except damage control or adapt. And all the ideas for damage control are like slapping a bandage on a bullet wound.
- On a happier note, I have been writing again so yay. It's still hard to get my brain in the right place, but my brain has also been a heckuva lot quieter lately, so there's plenty of room for ideas to occasionally ping around. I'm also running again and going for walks and generally trying to re-cultivate the plotting mindset. It feels like starting from scratch and I keep wondering if it's worth it, but it's helping. Slowly.
- I also started ukulele lessons. My instructor said my uke was "sweet" which is code for cheap and amateur, but I don't care. I want to learn an instrument, and I have to start somewhere. Every other instrument is super expensive and therefore has a big barrier for entrance, whereas my uke I got for $20. I'm going to learn to play it properly and then I'm going to learn to sing along and then I'm going to post shitty youtube videos and make everyone suffer. Bwahaha.
- There was literally nothing to do at work last week, so I finished a book, started another, did a lot of research, went for some long walks, and harassed my coworkers. Productive? Sure.
- (Warning, pregnancy-related) My anxiety has gone from a steady 3-5 (on a scale of 10) down to a round 0. It took me a while to notice because I've been so tired, but it's so weird. I mean, nice, but weird. All of my constant worries and anxieties that have been plaguing me for the last year have melted away, even if the reasons behind them haven't, and I have thoroughly embraced whatever happens, happens.
I don't even catastrophize anymore. The biggest area where I've noticed this is that it used to be whenever Lady went out on her own, I would ask her to text me updates of where she was - not because I'm controlling, but because without updates I automatically assume she's been in a horrible car crash. And it's not just her - if I went out on my own, I would also be terrified of dying. It's not as bad as it was in Seattle, where it would seriously keep me from leaving the house, but it was still enough to notice when it disappeared.
According to the internet, this is Completely Normal, and one of those awesome perks of being pregnant. Also makes me wonder why no one has figured out what delightful hormonal concoction does this and bottled it for profit.
- Still have no idea where we're going to be living in four-five-six-seven months, and I don't care (see above). It looks like it will either be France or Michigan, and I'm cool with either at this point. France would be awesome, but holy fuck would that be a hard move and there's also the possibility that timing would be bad and I'd have to stay in the states for a few months. Michigan wouldn't be great (omg especially with that asshole of a governor), but they have a Crossfit gym and a train station and Lady is starting to like the project she would do there. I can live anywhere for 2 years and honestly, we just need to leave AZ. I love Tucson, but we've been here too long and it's time to move on.
