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Four Day Weeeekeeeend!
Aug. 29th, 2014 08:47 amAin't nothing like a spontaneous four day weekend. Especially for your birthday.
I wasn't going to take today (Friday) off. I was going to hoard my vacation like a good little employee. But then I was looking at the list of people who would be taking the day off and I started feeling jealous, even a bit angry. This was my weekend. How come they got to take the day off and I didn't?
Well, maybe because I hadn't asked for it. The only one doing the allowing was myself. I was counting up all the things that needed to be done around the house, around our lives, and getting increasingly anxious. I only had three days to do them! And one of those days I planned to be out hiking! Ah!
Suddenly, the decision was made. I didn't even have to think about it. I counted and recounted the vacation hours I had and knew I had an extra day in there, knew I should save it for when I really needed it, but damn it - I need it now. So I took it. And then, magically, the rest of the week became so much bearable.
So here I am. Four day weekend! What am I going to do! Actually, what am I not going to do? I have a cake to make, food to prepare, a house to clean, chickens to face, cats to pet, books (so many books) to read, goals to set, LJ & blog entries to write, calendars to write, outlines to devise, research to do, new shoes to acquire, thrift stores to peruse, weights to lift, boxes to go through, laundry to clean, bathrooms to scrub, kitchens to organize, naps to take, French to learn, coffee to drink -
Obviously I won't be able to get that all done in one weekend. But I do hope to go through a lot of our old junk and toss it as well as organize a bit better. This is a strangely appropriate task for my birthday weekend. I seem to end up scrubbing the house and/or rearranging furniture every year. It's... refreshing. It allows for a lot of basic, hard work and time for thought. I've come to realize that I need that sort of active downtime to process things, and what is more rewarding than to have something to show for your downtime? I think that's why I actually enjoy cleaning so much. If I read or internet instead, it engages my brain too much and doesn't really allow me to fully relax.
Other things... we're going on a 12 mile hike on Sunday for my birthday, up into the Santa Ritas. I've never been and I thought it was an appropriate time. We're pretty much officially going to be here until December of 2015, and even though that's more time than I originally thought we'd have, it's a firm date and that makes it so much real. So I'm making a list (and checking it twice) of all the things I want to see and do before we leave. Which includes the Santa Ritas. So... hoorah!
We have also officially paused TTC. I am not pregnant and I will not be for the next four months. We'll start again in January. I am both relieved and disappointed. It's too early to even consider that something could be wrong with me, but of course that doesn't stop the thought. I am glad to not be riding the emotional roller coaster every month, not to have to pee on sticks and avidly watch every bodily sign, not to have to actually do the insem, not to have to worry about drinking too much caffeine, not to have to shove down all the negative emotions that rise up at the end of another failed cycle...
But I'm also disappointed it didn't work (yet). And sad we will have to wait even longer. If nothing else, this process has proved to both of us how much we really want this. It's hard to talk about that part because it was only a few years ago that I really didn't want this, and I can still hear that past me asking why?
TL;DR - four day weekend = all the cleaning, plus birthdaying; we're pausing TTC for four months; I love you
I wasn't going to take today (Friday) off. I was going to hoard my vacation like a good little employee. But then I was looking at the list of people who would be taking the day off and I started feeling jealous, even a bit angry. This was my weekend. How come they got to take the day off and I didn't?
Well, maybe because I hadn't asked for it. The only one doing the allowing was myself. I was counting up all the things that needed to be done around the house, around our lives, and getting increasingly anxious. I only had three days to do them! And one of those days I planned to be out hiking! Ah!
Suddenly, the decision was made. I didn't even have to think about it. I counted and recounted the vacation hours I had and knew I had an extra day in there, knew I should save it for when I really needed it, but damn it - I need it now. So I took it. And then, magically, the rest of the week became so much bearable.
So here I am. Four day weekend! What am I going to do! Actually, what am I not going to do? I have a cake to make, food to prepare, a house to clean, chickens to face, cats to pet, books (so many books) to read, goals to set, LJ & blog entries to write, calendars to write, outlines to devise, research to do, new shoes to acquire, thrift stores to peruse, weights to lift, boxes to go through, laundry to clean, bathrooms to scrub, kitchens to organize, naps to take, French to learn, coffee to drink -
Obviously I won't be able to get that all done in one weekend. But I do hope to go through a lot of our old junk and toss it as well as organize a bit better. This is a strangely appropriate task for my birthday weekend. I seem to end up scrubbing the house and/or rearranging furniture every year. It's... refreshing. It allows for a lot of basic, hard work and time for thought. I've come to realize that I need that sort of active downtime to process things, and what is more rewarding than to have something to show for your downtime? I think that's why I actually enjoy cleaning so much. If I read or internet instead, it engages my brain too much and doesn't really allow me to fully relax.
Other things... we're going on a 12 mile hike on Sunday for my birthday, up into the Santa Ritas. I've never been and I thought it was an appropriate time. We're pretty much officially going to be here until December of 2015, and even though that's more time than I originally thought we'd have, it's a firm date and that makes it so much real. So I'm making a list (and checking it twice) of all the things I want to see and do before we leave. Which includes the Santa Ritas. So... hoorah!
We have also officially paused TTC. I am not pregnant and I will not be for the next four months. We'll start again in January. I am both relieved and disappointed. It's too early to even consider that something could be wrong with me, but of course that doesn't stop the thought. I am glad to not be riding the emotional roller coaster every month, not to have to pee on sticks and avidly watch every bodily sign, not to have to actually do the insem, not to have to worry about drinking too much caffeine, not to have to shove down all the negative emotions that rise up at the end of another failed cycle...
But I'm also disappointed it didn't work (yet). And sad we will have to wait even longer. If nothing else, this process has proved to both of us how much we really want this. It's hard to talk about that part because it was only a few years ago that I really didn't want this, and I can still hear that past me asking why?
TL;DR - four day weekend = all the cleaning, plus birthdaying; we're pausing TTC for four months; I love you
