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#whyiwrite
Thursday was National Day on Writing - something I am noting for next year, since I didn't find out about it until day of. All across the twitterverse people were talking about why they write, but I didn't see this reflected on blogs so much. Ironic? Or just a reflection of the times?
Or maybe all the bloggers were just too busy writing.
I write because I can't not write. I have all these characters and plots and scenes in my head and if I don't write them down and excise them, they play on repeat, going through every possible permutation until I do. I have to see them solid and I love to finally put them down on paper and make them real and see where they go after that. In a way, it's how I find out the rest of the story - I can't plot out an entire book because I can't get past the initial scene without writing it, and the scene after that, and the scene after that, ad nauseam.
I'd like to say I write because I enjoy exploring character motivations, themes, and big ideas. That I want to change the world and how people think. That I want to entertain or make money or be famous. That I like enjoy having that finished novel in my metaphorical hands. That I love playing with language and seeing what it can do for me. And some of that is true. But mostly, I would keep writing if none of that were true. If I knew for absolute certain not a single soul would see or enjoy my novels, I would still write.
It's been a few weeks and I have been busybusybusy. I went out to visit my parents in Maryland last weekend, which included a bonus visit with my grandmum. The ticket had been a birthday present for my mom way back in June, but I had wanted to wait until the fall since I wouldn't be seeing them this Christmas and I'd never been out there in autumn. It was good, except for the part where grandmum fell down and was in the hospital for two of the three days I was there. She's fine now - they've run all sorts of tests on her to see if anything at all was wrong, and nothing is. But it's still a scary reminder of her age and frailty. She may be jetsetting across the Atlantic annually, but even she can begin to show her age.
I worry about her, as I worry about my mom who despite knee surgery and still being unable to walk more than a quarter mile, doesn't change any of her habits. Most important of all her diet. I know she's tried and she's tried and she's tried again - I will never forget the liquid shake diet where she made cookies out of the shakes - but now it's like she's given in and that's only worse because now she doesn't even try to eat properly. Maybe I've become a bit of a diet fanatic. But, well, it's important. I think I've convinced her to give the whole30 a try with me come Monday. I don't know if it will change much, but if she goes through with it, it will at least help her with her sugar addiction, which she's been struggling with forever. I just don't know if she'll go through with it. And I don't want to be a fanatic about that particular diet, but at this point, I just want something to work for her. :/
Anyway. Enough about worrying and parents. How about worrying and jobs? Well, I'm not too horribly worried right now. I have a little more than a month left with the City and applications in with the County. I'm pretty much certain I have the photo studio job - one manager called me to tell me the other manager wanted me and would be calling, she just hasn't called yet - and I have an interview on Tuesday for a computer tutoring job with the library. I think the County's policy is to interview everyone, so I'm not sure what my prospects are for that yet. I have an application in for EA of the county recorder, which could be cool, since I've done title and recording proxy work before and at least understand what goes into that kind of stuff. And I'm still looking for other, more permanent and interesting jobs. But at least I will have a part time job through season, which helps with the anxiety a lot.
Life has otherwise been good. Just hectic and different and I'm looking forward to returning to a semblance of a normal schedule next week. Lady was gone for the virus conference all last week (and that went super well), and now she's gone most of this weekend to visit her grandpa, who is not doing well at all. I'm still not sure if I should have gone with her. I really like her grandpa and he likes me, but it just felt like this a thing she needs to do herself. I would say I hope he is well and will recover, but it sounds like he is done with life and giving up, so that is his decision to make.
Ah, and now I'm teary-eyed. But this is a long, rambling catch-up post and I must forge on.
Running again, and thinking again that I might participate in the Thanksgiving 5k. I ran 2.5 miles while at mom and dad's, so I'm thinking I can reach a steady 3 in the next week or so. Granted, I'm still slow as molasses, but it's the ability to do this that matters to me.
Although between running and crossfit, I think I'm not eating enough. My weight has dropped another two pounds while I wasn't looking and I'm starting to think maybe I should be paying more attention. It's just a really weird feeling and my inner fat Kai is still whispering into my ear that I can be thinner, I don't need to worry that I'm still losing weight. And yeah, a few more pounds wouldn't be bad, but I can see where this is heading after that if I'm not careful. :\
Ooookay, I think that's enough mind vomit for one morning. Love you guys.
Or maybe all the bloggers were just too busy writing.
I write because I can't not write. I have all these characters and plots and scenes in my head and if I don't write them down and excise them, they play on repeat, going through every possible permutation until I do. I have to see them solid and I love to finally put them down on paper and make them real and see where they go after that. In a way, it's how I find out the rest of the story - I can't plot out an entire book because I can't get past the initial scene without writing it, and the scene after that, and the scene after that, ad nauseam.
I'd like to say I write because I enjoy exploring character motivations, themes, and big ideas. That I want to change the world and how people think. That I want to entertain or make money or be famous. That I like enjoy having that finished novel in my metaphorical hands. That I love playing with language and seeing what it can do for me. And some of that is true. But mostly, I would keep writing if none of that were true. If I knew for absolute certain not a single soul would see or enjoy my novels, I would still write.
It's been a few weeks and I have been busybusybusy. I went out to visit my parents in Maryland last weekend, which included a bonus visit with my grandmum. The ticket had been a birthday present for my mom way back in June, but I had wanted to wait until the fall since I wouldn't be seeing them this Christmas and I'd never been out there in autumn. It was good, except for the part where grandmum fell down and was in the hospital for two of the three days I was there. She's fine now - they've run all sorts of tests on her to see if anything at all was wrong, and nothing is. But it's still a scary reminder of her age and frailty. She may be jetsetting across the Atlantic annually, but even she can begin to show her age.
I worry about her, as I worry about my mom who despite knee surgery and still being unable to walk more than a quarter mile, doesn't change any of her habits. Most important of all her diet. I know she's tried and she's tried and she's tried again - I will never forget the liquid shake diet where she made cookies out of the shakes - but now it's like she's given in and that's only worse because now she doesn't even try to eat properly. Maybe I've become a bit of a diet fanatic. But, well, it's important. I think I've convinced her to give the whole30 a try with me come Monday. I don't know if it will change much, but if she goes through with it, it will at least help her with her sugar addiction, which she's been struggling with forever. I just don't know if she'll go through with it. And I don't want to be a fanatic about that particular diet, but at this point, I just want something to work for her. :/
Anyway. Enough about worrying and parents. How about worrying and jobs? Well, I'm not too horribly worried right now. I have a little more than a month left with the City and applications in with the County. I'm pretty much certain I have the photo studio job - one manager called me to tell me the other manager wanted me and would be calling, she just hasn't called yet - and I have an interview on Tuesday for a computer tutoring job with the library. I think the County's policy is to interview everyone, so I'm not sure what my prospects are for that yet. I have an application in for EA of the county recorder, which could be cool, since I've done title and recording proxy work before and at least understand what goes into that kind of stuff. And I'm still looking for other, more permanent and interesting jobs. But at least I will have a part time job through season, which helps with the anxiety a lot.
Life has otherwise been good. Just hectic and different and I'm looking forward to returning to a semblance of a normal schedule next week. Lady was gone for the virus conference all last week (and that went super well), and now she's gone most of this weekend to visit her grandpa, who is not doing well at all. I'm still not sure if I should have gone with her. I really like her grandpa and he likes me, but it just felt like this a thing she needs to do herself. I would say I hope he is well and will recover, but it sounds like he is done with life and giving up, so that is his decision to make.
Ah, and now I'm teary-eyed. But this is a long, rambling catch-up post and I must forge on.
Running again, and thinking again that I might participate in the Thanksgiving 5k. I ran 2.5 miles while at mom and dad's, so I'm thinking I can reach a steady 3 in the next week or so. Granted, I'm still slow as molasses, but it's the ability to do this that matters to me.
Although between running and crossfit, I think I'm not eating enough. My weight has dropped another two pounds while I wasn't looking and I'm starting to think maybe I should be paying more attention. It's just a really weird feeling and my inner fat Kai is still whispering into my ear that I can be thinner, I don't need to worry that I'm still losing weight. And yeah, a few more pounds wouldn't be bad, but I can see where this is heading after that if I'm not careful. :\
Ooookay, I think that's enough mind vomit for one morning. Love you guys.