Sep. 20th, 2009 01:07 pm
spryng: (tardis)


I think I'm getting to the point where the initial, near-exponential increase in skill is starting to level out. I'm reaching the first plateau that all of my artistic endeavors reach at some point, but hopefully I can maintain momentum and force my way onwards. I so very much want to become a great photographer, almost as much as I want to become a great writer. Although I never really considered myself an artistic person, I am definitely creative and that is where I now know I want to go with my life.

I think, also, that I'm finally getting over not getting into grad school. It really messed me up, in more ways than I acknowledged at the time. It messed up my immediate plans, it messed up my view of my life, and it messed up a rather over-inflated ego I'd developed. But it did a good thing; although I don't believe in a higher being or a force directing our lives for the good/better, I do believe that sometimes shit happens, but we learn and grow from that shit. Granted, it wasn't a big shit, but I've lead a very privileged life ultimately lacking in big disappointments. In short, I always get what I want with near minimal effort.

Not getting what I wanted for once despite - or rather, largely because of - the minimal effort I put in threw me well off my tracks. I've spent the last seven months swimming through uncertainty and depression and anxiety and feeling like a failure. Of course, not all the time - I am a very optimistic person and life really is wonderful. I had many good days, but the constant was definitely the uncertainty.

But now I believe I have a plan. And it seems to me to a be a good and sturdy plan that will only crumple if I let it. I will apply to schools and try to get a masters in education and certification to teach Latin. Failing that, I will enter into a photography program at a local community college. Failing that, there are studios I can probably work in and learn some of the ropes I'm aiming for. Of course, all of these can be mixed and matched; I can get a cert to teach Latin and also take photography classes at the CC. I am also tempted to apply for photography masters. And I can probably work in a studio while I go to school. Any way it falls, this seems to be a much more versatile plan than last year's "if I get into this one college grad program despite failing at the application due to sheer anxiety."

Here's to the future and more beautiful mornings.
spryng: (Default)
Outside today I noticed that it smelled like fall. The angle and quality of light, the not-quite-full warmth of the full sun, the almost cold wind blowing from the north, and something on that wind, something that brought up memories of apples and orange leaves. It was an incredibly vivid moment and although we're only at the end of August, autumn is coming up fast.

Autumn is officially my favorite season and I'm especially looking forward to any and all opportunities to capture the vibrant colors with my awesome camera. Also the foods: apples, cider, squashes, pumpkins, peppers, pomegranates, pears, turnips, artichokes... zomg. Apple picking! I fully intend to overdose in apples this autumn.

But beyond the foods, this autumn is going to be very busy. Lady and I hope to visit some universities in Oregon and PAX is coming up and Lady has to take the GRE one weekend and the GRE Subject another, and there's the Zoo which we have to go to, and we were also planning to go to Victoria this fall, but it looks like we might now make it, and Thanksgiving, and NaNo, and her birthday, and Halloween, a weekend of apple picking, and and and. Thankfully these will all be weekend endeavors, since I've taken so much time off from work already, but wow. I'm looking forward to it all, though; I love staying busy.

In the here and the now, I've discovered how to channel my obsessive internet checking and updating to the greater good. Or, well, my personal greater good. There's this website, the Daily Plate, which has more than helped me reach and maintain my daily calorie goals. Apparently the simple act of updating a graph every day with my weight and caloric intake is motivation enough to keep me going.

And it got me thinking about my other motivation and time-management problems; if only there were a similar website for keeping track of my daily word count outside of November. Having something to update that word graph during NaNoWriMo every day was a major factor in getting those words out. Watching that graph go up and up gave such a great feeling of instant satisfaction. So why isn't there a website out there like Daily Plate, but for writers? With a nice graph and maybe a few extras, like character shorts and chapter progress? I feel like this needs to be out there. If I had the web skillz, I would do it myself, but I fear I've long since become obsolete in the web design department. But if anybody is willing to go for it with me, I will gladly supply the copy and webspace. And some very rudimentary design.

Until that appears out of the ether, I'll probably give photography more time than it should be alloted, due to that whole instant satisfaction thing.

We went and saw Amber for the last day for a bit this weekend, since she's moving to Idaho soon. While out in the country that is Snohomish, I spotted this strange rainbow in the sky, even though it wasn't raining. I saw quite a few of them throughout the day; does anyone know what they are? I expect they occur due to the angle the sun is at in the sky and the height of the clouds, but I truly have never seen one before.

Here's a photo of Amber's bird, Deetu. I wanted to get a good photo of him, since it would be the last time we saw him for a while as well, and also as a kind of present to Amber, but I managed to blow the highlights, so it didn't turn out too well. Tja.

And some boots. Because how else would you end an entry but with some boots?

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