A Crush

Sep. 10th, 2009 07:47 pm
spryng: (tardis)
I have something to admit, I have a bit of a crush. I know it's a crush because it's not like my other, current and long-standing relationship. That relationship is stable, dependable, the love there steady and strong. No, I know it's a crush because it's wild and erratic, filled with ups and downs and breathtaking moments which I over-analyze after the fact. I spend too much of my time I should be using for the stable relationship to figure out how to make the crush better, how to explore it further, how to tweak it, how to run with it, dreaming of the possibilities, however frantic and impossible they may be. My crush is expensive in both time and energy - but it's immediate sense of fulfillment is too enticing, too alluring. Every new thing I learn about my crush is exciting, no matter how dull. I know that I should be putting that energy towards my stable relationship, but gosh darnit, I'm a sucker for instant gratification. Even if that means my weekends have been made up of hastily put together early morning rendezvouses of late.

It's only been going on for a few months and I want it to last forever, to fully explore this infatuation, but I fear it is nothing but that - an infatuation. And in time I'll grow tired of this crush and turn to another - like deep-sea diving.

Time will tell. I suppose there was a time when writing was an infatuation for me as well, but now I meet it for a little tea every day and that works well for us. No more late night finger fests. Photography commands my full attention now, for better or for worse. And I desperately want to invest in better lenses and more gear, but there's that whole thing about wondering if this is naught but a schoolgirl crush. At least there's this rental place to tide me over while the crush hopefully smooths into a functioning relationship.

Also this photo project I mentioned in my previous post. Christina gave me "purple" and here is the first result.

Depending on how many suggestions I get, I'll do a number of each and post them to both here and FB. Please leave a suggestion here or there if you have one - remember, anything or any idea that might occur in my living space or surrounding neighborhood.

September 2017

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