spryng: (books)
We're supposed to get 5-8 inches of snow today. I don't even know what that looks like. I looked out the window when I woke up and everything was already coated white. The sidewalk has disappeared. Snow is falling, thick as rain. It's supposed to keep snowing like this all day.

I realized while watching all that snow come down that I've never been through a real winter before. Yeah, I lived in Seattle for two years, but those winters were cold and rainy. It snowed occasionally and only stuck around for a day or two. Already we've had snow on the ground since last weekend. I tell people, I can deal with the cold and the snow, it's the darkness that gets me, but I guess we'll see, huh?

Lady Jr has turned a corner for us in the past few weeks and life has gotten significantly easier. I hope to all things holy I didn't just jinx it, but from what I've read, once the newborn phase is over, babies generally become easier, more predictable.

For one, she's smiling and making noises and looking at things. For another, she doesn't just cry while she's awake. Right now she's on the play mat next to the couch, turning her head this way and that as she looks at all the lights we have up and occasionally laughing for no discernible reason. But it's cute as fuck and I told Lady the other day that she can stay.

And now she's in the sling carrier on me, asleep. She looked around for a little and smiled while I put her in it, which is leaps and bounds beyond the screaming and fussing she used to do when I tried to get her in it.

Seriously. Having a baby that is content while awake until she needs something vs crying the entire time is a game changer. I see the light at the end of this tunnel, I see how people can do this and do other things.

Even more awesome, I have now slept in my own bed for three nights in a row instead of trying to sleep on the couch. I'd been out there half the night because Lady Jr woke so often and took so long to go back to sleep. But, again, in the past few weeks she went from needing 40min to fall back asleep to 20 to 10 to 5 to none. That coupled with only waking 2-3 times during my sleep window means I can finally move back to bed. I get to snuggle my wife again and sleep without the fear of cats jumping on me just when I'd fallen asleep.

Seriously. That was what finally did it, because I'd tried moving back into the bedroom right before Thanksgiving, but Lady Jr decided to sleep regress and we both had the week from sleep dep hell. But then she was sleeping better again and I was just hesitant she'd sleep regress if we tried, but the cats, oh the cats. I love them, but fuck 'em for keeping me from sleeping so many nights.

So yeah. Now we've had three nights in our bedroom with Lady Jr and omg. I didn't even take a nap yesterday. It's amazing. And Lady Jr slept 7(!!!) hours the other night, which gives me hope. Granted, she hasn't done that since (six and then 4 last night, so), but I didn't expect her to.

Basically, everything is butterflies and unicorn sparkles now that I'm getting more sleep. Hah.

She's still fussing a lot and full on, in pain, heart-renching screaming occasionally and we're trying to figure that out. I've cut out dairy and wheat for now because everything says dairy can be a problem and, well, I'm starting to react to wheat again so. I haven't had wheat since Friday and she hasn't had a screaming fit since then, so - fingers crossed.

Not baby-related, I have been making an effort to write and go outside every day. I have 29k words on a first draft and a plan to write 1k/day through December to finish it. I'm currently at the (first) point where everything is awful and why do I write and oh god, this is never going to be good, which means I need to keep going.

Going outside every day has been keeping SAD away - well, that plus a shit ton of supplemental vitamin D. But I take baby for a walk most days around the park nearby and have made an extra effort to go out when it's snowing/raining/freezing because, well, that's winter, isn't it? If I don't go out when it's 20 degrees, then I'll be stuck inside for weeks and I'll go crazy.

You made it this far, so have a baby pic:

spryng: (books)
We had the long-awaited anatomy scan yesterday for Lady Jr. In short, this is where you see your baby-shaped baby for the first/last time before birth, and this is also where bones get measured, hearts get checked, and the overall health is assessed. If you didn't opt for an earlier genetics test (done by blood draw), like us, then this is the first chance to see if everything is going right and to see what gender baby will be assigned at birth.

We decided to forego the genetics test because a) our insurance doesn't really cover it and b) I'm under 35 and otherwise not considered high risk. I also just didn't want to do it for a handful of selfish, cowardly reasons.

So I was a liiittle nervous before the scan because what if?? but not very. Then the doc began pointing out organs and limbs and with each successive, completely normal reveal, I grinned a little more. In short, Lady Jr is 100% normal with all of their organs inside and in the right place and all of the appropriate number of limbs and nothing odd or worrying showing up.

I am so relieved. I am also a little bit bowled over by how much more baby-like Lady Jr is from the clump of cells we saw at 7 weeks.

We also found out baby's most probable birth gender: girl!

I didn't think having a pronoun to use would change anything, but calling Lady Jr she instead of it is surprisingly humanizing and makes this so much more real. Also we get to start trying out names which is fun. :)

September 2017

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